Nocere

by Max Ellendale

  "I can see that. I appreciate that you all put in the effort. It helped me, even though I avoid big events."

  "We know it's hard for you."

  "It's been less hard with Sam in my life…"

  Ainsley grinned, her whole face lighting up. "I know."

  The landline phone on my desk rang, and both of us stared at it like it would explode any second.

  "I've never heard that ring before," said Ainsley and I laughed as I picked it up.

  "Hello?"

  "Bryant. Someone up at the front here looking for you," said the officer working the intake desk.

  "Um...who is it?"

  "A woman. She says she's here to see you."

  I gripped my chest as my gaze shot to Ainsley's. My insides twisted and I couldn't form words to respond to him. All I could think about was my mother showing up here, freshly released from prison, about to break her order of protection.

  "Bryant?"

  "Rosie?" called Ainsley and I shook my head, handing her the phone out of sheer panic. "This is Doctor Monson. Who is this?"

  "Dispatch. There's a woman here to see Bryant." I heard someone say through the receiver.

  "I'll be right there." Ainsley hung up as she stood from her seat. "Stay here."

  "N-no. What if—"

  "Stay here, Rosie." She pointed at me as she headed to the door, closing it behind her.

  I sat at my desk, my hands clasped against my chest as I rolled through the possibilities of what could happen. Every scenario, from epic take-downs to parole violations, to magical reunions. Just the notion of the latter unnerved me, and reminded me of the wishes I talked to Sam about the other day.

  Ainsley returned, I had no idea how quickly, with a smile on her face. "You're going to love this visitor."

  Her statement only brought more confusion until she stepped aside to usher Sam inside. In work scrubs with no jacket, she strode over to me as I leapt from my chair to hug her.

  "Hi, my sweet," she said as she wrapped her arms around me. "Ainsley said I scared you."

  "I thought my mother showed up here. Hi, Sami." I squeezed her and she rubbed my back in soft circles. "What are you doing here? Is your mom okay?"

  "She's just fine." Sam leaned back to stroke my cheeks before catching me in a swift kiss. "I came to visit you."

  "Ainsley and I were just talking—where'd she go?" My brow furrowed as I glanced to the vacant doorway.

  "Giving us some time, I'm sure." Sam reached behind her back and pulled out a single pink rose from somewhere. "For you."

  My cheeks burned immediately as I accepted it. All the nerves and worry washed away in her presence and with the sweet gesture. I held the flower, wrapped in artsy burlap and twine, to my chest before taking a quick sniff. "Baby, thank you…"

  "You're blushing." She bit her lip while she gazed at me. "And you're the cutest ever."

  I laughed as I draped my arms around her neck, holding the flower behind her, then lifted to my tiptoes to catch her in a kiss. She pulled me to her, her hands on my waist, as we lingered in it for ages it seemed. When we parted, Ainsley seated in front of my desk startled me. She smiled while tearing off pieces of a chocolate doughnut.

  "We thought you left," I said, laughing at the way she grinned at us.

  "No. There were doughnuts in the conference room." She held up the half eaten one.

  "And you didn't bring us any?" Sam shook her head, joining my laughter at Ainsley's weirdness.

  "You didn't ask." She snickered, then offered us a bite of hers.

  I declined, but Samirah snatched the entire rest of the snack from her hand and shoved it in her mouth.

  Ainsley's appalled expression made me crack up. "Rude!"

  Sam flipped her off and I about died from hysterics. "Oh my God."

  Ainsley huffed and puffed, though her silly giggle made its way into her tantrum. "I really liked that one!"

  "Go get another one then," said Sam after she gulped down the mouthful. I brushed a crumb from her lip and she wagged her brows at me.

  "Fine." Ainsley skipped from the room, in heels, which was practically an Olympic sport at that rate, and I returned my attention to my girlfriend.

  "What a tool," Sam said, shaking her head though her smile remained.

  "Monson!" someone shouted. "Bring that back. Don't you have a body to dissect?"

  "It's on ice. I've got time." Ainsley returned with the entire tray of doughnuts and set them on the desk. "Here we are, ladies," she chirped, her voice a jovial sing-song.

  "Oh my God, Ainsley. Isn't there a meeting?" I gawked at her, my eyes wide.

  "It's a police station. They'll find more doughnuts somewhere." She snatched a chocolate one just like the previous that Sam destroyed and dropped back into her seat. With a big fat grin plastered on her face, she dove right into the confection.

  "Is she always like this here?" asked Sam, her hands around my waist again.

  "She's like this everywhere." I leaned into her and brought the flower back to my nose to take in its sweet fragrance. It brought a smile to my lips, and a coziness to the embrace that I didn't expect.

  "A rose for her Rosie," announced Ainsley with a dramatic sigh. "So sweet."

  "Shut up over there." Sam pointed at her then smooched my temple. I leaned into her embrace, and allowed myself to surrender to the comfort of her. "I'm done with work for the day," she said. "When can I steal you away from here?"

  "In about an hour. Want to stay?" I smiled up at her and she kissed the end of my nose.

  "I sure do."

  When I looked back at Ainsley, she jerked her phone back into her lap. "She snuck a photo of us. Creep."

  Ainsley snickered and turned her phone around to show us. I didn't hate it at all.

  "Send it to us," said Sam, before she sat down in my chair and urged me into her lap. I lay the pretty flower down on the desk beside my computer and its presence made me smile as much as Sam's.

  "You got it." Ainsley beamed at being rewarded for her scandalous photography.

  "Did you come see me because Rebecca set alerts on your phone, too?" I asked Sam, and her brow furrowed.

  "Alerts for what?"

  "My birth mom getting released today."

  "Oh." She shook her head. "No alerts for me, but Rebecca did text me to tell me. Ironically, my mom called me to see how you were as well. Are our moms friends now?"

  I chuckled at her question and nodded. "I think so. Our post-fall safety plans turned them into friends."

  "Really?" Ainsley asked while chomping on a jelly doughnut. "That's super cute."

  "It really is." I smiled at Sam while lacing my fingers behind her neck. "Are you surprised?"

  "Very." Sam nodded, her hands brushing up and down my sides. "My mom is usually less social."

  "Sami." I cupped her face in my palms and she smiled at me.

  "What, baby?"

  "You make me happy."

  "Do I?" Her maroon-hued lips curved into a smile.

  "Yes. My good friend showing up within five minutes of learning something that she knew would upset me, and my girlfriend not long after that, how could I be anything less than happy about the people I have in my life right now?"

  "Aww, Rosie. So cute." Ainsley snickered as she stood. "I'll leave you two alone, but only because I'm supposed to be in the meeting that I stole these doughnuts from." She scooped up the tray and wagged her brows at us. "Last chance."

  I plucked a glazed one from her and Sam shook her head.

  "Bye, lovelies. See you Saturday," she said before bolting.

  "What's Saturday?" asked Sam before we shared a bite of the sugar bomb pinched between my fingers.

  "Dinner at her house with Stella and everyone…"

  "Do you want to go?"

  I thought about her question, and decided to answer in Sam's best interest rather than my own. "Sure. It'll be smaller. Do you want to?"

  "Only if you do," she said, then kissed me quickly. "C'mon,
show me what your job is about."

  "Really? It's a little boring…"

  "Show me everything." She blew a raspberry against my neck and I squealed out my laughter.

  Sam's mood seemed to take a huge turn around over the last few days, and my gratitude for her support soared with her presence. I wondered if she felt the same; if our support of one another changed the outcome of our reactions. "Thank you for coming here today," I said while showing her how I run crime analytics using the software application on my mega computer.

  "Thank you for coming to the hospital when I needed you, and didn't even know I needed you," she whispered, her chin resting on my shoulder. Her statement solidified my suspicion, and I reached back to stroke her cheek while clicking through some numbers on the screen.

  In that moment, I understood relationships a little better. I understood what it meant to not always be fifty-fifty with give and take, but that sometimes it would be a hundred-zero, or seventy-thirty, or whatever the situation needed in order to love and be together. Although my family and friends provided good support, only Sam's presence filled the vacancy in my heart. The longing for someone to share things with on a deeper level, someone whose gestures made me feel special and like I had a place in the world.

  "Friday is Valentine's Day," she whispered against my cheek. "Will you go to dinner with me, Rosie? Somewhere special and quiet, with not a lot of people, I promise."

  "Yes." I gulped as I turned to meet her gaze. "I'll go anywhere with you." The way she smiled met her eyes, and I knew that my acceptance became one of those hundred-zero moments. It meant something to her to share a dinner out and I would do it for her. I would do anything with her, and just that alone told me of my willingness to change, and our ability to grow together.

  Chapter Twenty

  "Why are all your clothes so fucking adorable? Look at these cute dresses," Sam asked while she plucked through my closet.

  I laughed while watching her from my perch on the bed.

  "Blame Rebecca for the dresses. She loves buying me stuff and her style is amazing." I leaned back on my elbows, grinning while enjoying her amusement. "Want to play dress up with me?" I wagged my brows at her and she nodded.

  "Yes. Can I dress you?" She chuckled, clutching her hands to her chest. "It can be our new kink."

  "I won't hate it at all." I nodded my agreement and watched her as she thumbed through a few of the dresses. I did, indeed, love my wardrobe. It gave me a means to be myself whenever I felt like the world treated me as a throw-away. Wearing something nice or stylish made me feel like I had meaning or belonged.

  We spent the early morning at my apartment, where I cooked us breakfast, and then shared time tangled on my tiny sofa while watching the news. Having a girlfriend with as much insomnia as me surely paid off at times. It quickly became our routine, to spend Wednesday and Thursday nights at my place when I had to work the next day and Sam didn't. Alex came and went sometimes, though her growing connection with Sara kept her away often.

  Sam picked out my black A-line dress with the white collar that made me look like a mildly attractive Puritan. Coupled with heeled Oxford shoes and my hair down, I folded my arms as I tapped my foot at her when I returned to the living room. Her face lit up with the most wicked grin ever.

  "You think this is funny, do you? I look like a school teacher."

  "A totally fucking bangable school teacher. Somebody get me a desk, stat." She grabbed me into a kiss and spun me in a circle. My laughter ended it quickly, and I laced my fingers behind her neck while she held my waist.

  "So naughty…" I toyed with the hair at the base of her neck. "What am I going to do with you?"

  "Whatever you want." She smiled and kissed the end of my nose. "Have you ever gone dancing?"

  "I have not," I said, and she swayed with me as if we did just that. "I've lived a pretty narrow life."

  "Would you go dancing? There would be a lot of people, but I would hold you like this the whole time…"

  "Sami, I'm beginning to think I'd go anywhere with you," I confessed and it brought a smile to her lips.

  "That makes me happy to hear, baby." She pressed her lips to mine and I lost myself in her for a moment, allowing myself to melt into the affection.

  "I'm very grateful for you." I cupped her face and she kissed my thumb.

  "Right back at you," she said, and grabbed me into a playful dip. I squealed and it made us both laugh. "So cute, Rosie."

  "I'm not wearing purple socks. Am I still your little fairy?"

  "You'll always be my little fairy. Even if you're dressed like a sexy school teacher." She swatted my rear and I wagged my brows at her.

  A knock on the front door sounded and my breath hitched. Sam's brow furrowed and she asked, "Expecting someone?"

  "Not at eight-thirty in the morning. Rebecca and Alex have keys…"

  "Let me get it. Stay right here." She released my waist, but I panicked at the last second and grabbed her hand.

  "No. Don't get it." I dug my heels in and she squeezed my hand.

  "Easy, honey. Let's look through the peephole at least.

  I nodded, and stuck extremely close to her. She looked through first, then allowed me to do it. A blonde woman stood on the other side, and I wondered if she might've been a neighbor.

  "Don't know who that is," I whispered and she nodded.

  A second knock followed, quieter than the first, and Sam released the chain. I helped her unlock it, and she kept a tight hold on my hand when we opened the door together.

  The woman, who I noted to be the same height as me, met our gazes one after the other and smiled. She wore casual jeans, a pink sweater, and an overcoat that told me she must've arrived here off the street rather than down the hall. Sam cocked a brow at the woman and glanced at me before she said, "How can we help you?"

  "Hello," she said, her voice soft behind a nervous smile. "I'm sorry to bother you so early, but I'm looking for Rose Bryant." Her eyes fell on me right away as if she already knew. I noted then that she clutched some paper in her hands and a worn envelope.

  "I'm Rose…" I held tightly to Sam and she slipped her arm around my waist. "Are-are you serving me papers?"

  "No." The woman shook her head. "I um, I'm Juni. I—" She stuttered and glanced between us. "I think...I think we might be related."

  "What?" My stomach churned then gave a great lurch as my nerves tore me to bits.

  "I think we're related," she repeated, then held the paper out to us. Her hand trembled almost as much as mine when I took it.

  "Let me see." Sam urged it from me, then opened it to reveal a hand-written letter. It took me all of two seconds to recognize the neat scrawl.

  "That's—my mom wrote that," I told her as a lump rose in my throat. I didn't read it and I looked back to the woman who stood in my doorway wringing her hands together.

  "I didn't know about her until last year. My-my birth mother's name was Carly Bryant. I wrote to her once when I found out she was incarcerated. She wrote me back to tell me she was getting out of prison. I've-I've never met her before." Juni's voice faded as I stared at her.

  Sam's expression fell as she turned over the letter to read the back. Sure enough, my mother's signature sat at the bottom. Tears tumbled down my face and my nails dug into Sam's hand when she met my gaze.

  "Rosie," she said, her voice breathless as she looked between me and the stranger.

  "What's it say?" I asked both of them as I tried to get a hold of myself enough to breathe.

  "She said…" Juni drew in a deep breath. "That I have a sister and her name is Rose."

  "That can't be true." I choked on my voice. "She lies all the time. It's not true."

  "Easy, honey." Sam hugged me to her then handed Juni back the letter. "Your name is Juniper?"

  The woman nodded, and she swiped at her own cheeks.

  "I'm Sam. How old are you?" Sam's voice dropped to even-keeled doctor tones.

  "Twenty-eight." Her so
ft voice unnerved me more when she hiccupped through her response.

  "It's not true," I whispered to Sam while I hid my face against her chest.

  "Rosie, look at her." She nudged my chin up so that I'd meet her gaze. "I want you to look at her."

  "No. My mom lied. She—"

  "Rosie, look at her." Sam pointed at Juniper and slowly, I pulled my eyes away and allowed them to fall on the stranger.

  We stood facing each other, our height and hair nearly the same. Her light blue eyes and small frame didn't do anything to convince me otherwise. Her freckles, curvier hips, and confident posture, however, reflected nothing of familiarity.

  "I think we're sisters," she said, finally, and offered me a small smile.

  "I would've known you if you were born when I was five," I said, my tone tenser than I intended.

  "I was born addicted and they took me from her right away. At least that's what my parents told me when I made them talk to me about my history." She sniffled and wiped her eyes on her sleeves. "I'm sorry. Maybe I went about this the wrong way."

  Hurried footsteps jogged down the hall, and Alex swung around the corner as she bound up the steps. She stopped short in the doorway, a laundry basket in her arms, and glanced between the three of us standing there. "Whoa… What's going on?"

  "We need to call Rebecca," said Sam, her voice soft.

  Juniper and I stared at each other while Alex's gaze darted back and forth.

  "Whoa," she repeated, her thumb jabbed in Juniper's direction. "Who's the clone?"

  "Alex," scolded Sam, and shoved her inside. "Go call Rebecca and tell her she needs to get here right away."

  "Sheesh." Alex dropped the basket on the floor and pulled out her phone. "Fine."

  "Juni, why don't you come inside?" Sam ushered her in and closed the door behind her.

  At that point, I could hardly formulate words as I cried quietly while leaning against Sam. She brought me over to the kitchen table and I sat down with her urging. Juniper sat across from me, and Sam snagged bottles of water from the fridge then set them down in front of us.

  "Thanks," said Juni, her eyes never leaving me as I reached for Sam.

  She took my hands and crouched down in front of me. A soft smile curved her lips as she brushed her thumbs over my knuckles. "You're okay, baby."