Scrambling (Out in the NFL Book 1)

by Lex Valentine

  “Is he sick? Does he have AIDS?” Evan asked, his sandy brown brows drawn together in a frown.

  “I don’t know. I need to go in to see Dr. Kovacs as soon as possible. I’ll know more then.”

  They both turned their heads as Darcy came in. She took one look at their hands clasped together, and her brows rose.

  “What the hell did I miss?” she asked as she sat behind her desk.

  Reed drew a shaky breath. “I got some news from my doctor today. Len’s tested positive for HIV. He’s been cheating on me for two years. I have to be retested, but I’m fairly sure I’m not positive. I don’t have unprotected sex with anyone.”

  He paused, and Darcy sat back in her chair, her face shocked. “You don’t pull any punches do you, mister?” she said with a shake of her head. “What else?”

  “I’m breaking up with him. I can’t be with a cheater.” Reed’s voice grew stronger, and he realized the decisions he’d arrived at had given him the strength to deal with the situation now that the initial shock had worn off.

  “Is he sick?” Darcy parroted Evan’s question from earlier.

  “I don’t know yet. Why?”

  Darcy’s red lips pursed. “Because if he is, the media can’t know you’ve split up. It would appear that you’d abandoned your sick and dying lover. We can’t have that kind of bad press.”

  “If he’s sick, you won’t want to walk away anyway, Reed.” Evan’s quiet voice accompanied the squeeze of his fingers. “He has no family. All he has is you. You’ll kick yourself later if you walk out on him when he’s seriously ill.”

  Reed’s stomach sank, and his nausea rose once more. They were right. He couldn’t publically leave Len if he was sick. And he couldn’t abandon the guy either. Len literally had no one but Reed. A frustrated sound escaped him.

  “So what do I do?”

  “We play it by ear,” Darcy told him in a calm, even voice. “First, we need to make sure you’re okay, so see the doctor and get tested again. Next, we need to find out if Len’s got AIDS. Hash things out with him about the cheating and all but don’t tell him you’re leaving. I doubt he’ll expect you to sleep with him now that you know the truth, so all you really have to do is sleep under the same roof for the time being. Once we have more info, we can draw up a better battle plan.”

  “Battle plan!” Evan exclaimed. “You make it sound like we’re going to war.”

  Darcy nodded. “We are. Your formerly complacent teammates will flip the fuck out if they find out Len has AIDS. No other team will want you whether you test clean or not. The partners will be worried about their investment, and the media will start circling like the sharks they are. Any one of those things might require some finessing. Altogether, it requires a battle plan.”

  “Your foot soldiers will do your bidding completely on this, General Darcy, but Len has to know that I won’t be his partner anymore, not in private. I won’t be with a cheater. Publically, we’ll do whatever makes this situation palatable to you. If Len doesn’t like it, too fucking bad,” Reed snarled. “He brought this on all of us, and sick or not, he will see it through to its conclusion.”

  “And you, Reed? What will you do?” Darcy asked him.

  He stared at her, anger at Len, himself, and life surging through him. “Whatever I must to get through this and play football.”

  All of his life, Reed had put things on hold because of football. When he’d discovered he was gay, he’d kept his mouth shut even to Evan because of football. When he’d discovered he was in love with Evan, he’d kept silent because of football. He would have happily come out and left football behind if it meant he could have had Evan, but he knew how much the game meant to his best friend. He wasn’t willing to risk losing Evan’s friendship. So he'd kept his mouth shut and done the one thing guaranteed to keep Evan at his side: he played football.

  Age 24

  To Reed’s way of thinking, the center had to be the most intelligent guy on the offensive line. After all, he called the snap. He stared down the defensive line, assessed them, and sometimes even messed with them. If anyone could draw a defensive lineman offside, it was usually the center.

  Evan had been snapping the football to Reed for more than fifteen years. Reed considered him the consummate center. He had intelligence, knowledge of the game, and always did his homework on the opposing team. No one could draw a defense offsides better than Evan. The resulting five-yard penalty usually pleased the coach. In addition, he and Evan had their own silent set of signals, little movements of their heads, eyes, and hands. Evan always knew what Reed would do, and Reed always knew what Evan would do. And when Reed took it into his head to scramble, he knew Evan would be there to block for him.

  Since Reed had such an accurate throwing arm, the coach preferred a West Coast offense, a classic passing game. But Reed was a wily quarterback who liked to throw a monkey wrench into the works on occasion, especially when their opponent showed a lack of imagination in their assessment of Reed’s game. So sometimes he broke from the mold and ran the ball himself. He had speed and agility, and he liked getting the ball downfield. He liked making touchdowns. He liked making things happen in a way that no one expected.

  A week into training camp, Reed was working on his scrambling, tearing down the field with the ball cradled under his arm, when he got hit hard. With a grunt and a whoosh of air from his lungs, he ate dirt. The defensive end helped him up and brushed him off, apologizing for hitting him so hard, but Reed ignored it. Practice was practice. He wasn’t a small quarterback, and he had the ability to take a hit. What he was more concerned with was why he’d gotten hit in the first place. Evan always had his back when he scrambled.

  He stared down the field, and sure enough, Evan lay on the field clutching his calf. A moment of panic struck Reed, and he jogged toward his best friend. The panic subsided as he drew closer and realized Evan wasn’t hurt; he had a cramp. Not that a cramp didn’t hurt like hell.

  “Walk it off,” the offensive line coach grunted before turning his back on a grimacing Evan.

  Reed reached down and helped Evan up. His friend leaned on him heavily, groaning a little as they walked slowly off the field.

  “Fuck, that hurts,” Evan wheezed, limping and lurching in a way that made his hip brush against Reed’s with every step.

  Heat flared in Reed’s groin. “You owe me one,” he gritted out, ignoring the arousal pressing painfully against his athletic cup. “Bateman tackled me on the twenty. I have grass in my teeth.”

  Evan grimaced. “Do not. I saw the hit. He treated you like a princess.”

  “No, babe. Only you treat me like a princess.”

  Reed grinned, a sense of happiness making him buoyant. Out on the football field, bantering with Evan, the two of them a team… It was heaven for Reed. His life had become a nightmare off the field. He’d been ecstatic when training camp started, and he could escape the Brentwood house he shared with Len.

  Dr. Kovacs had confirmed with second tests that Len was HIV positive and Reed was negative. Reed had sat Len down and had a long, painful discussion about the cheating, the test results, Len’s bipolar disorder, and their relationship. The upshot had been that while he'd refused to leave Len alone to deal with the severe medical consequences of his actions, he no longer considered Len his partner, and he’d moved out of the master suite. Len agreed to every condition Reed laid on him, his contriteness something Reed had seen over and over in the past. Len was always sorry for the things he did. He just couldn’t stop himself from repeating the bad behavior or enacting worse deeds.

  So Reed had been living a lie for the past year to keep the press at bay. He didn’t mind. At the moment, he wasn’t interested in finding a new boyfriend. All his energy went into football. When Len’s status leaked out to the press the previous season, Darcy held a small press conference to ensure everyone knew Reed was fine. He acted the upset but supportive lover, and some of the press had been sympathetic. His teammates were
divided. A few had grown a little colder, but the rest just ignored the whole thing including the media circus that surrounded him the first week after the press conference.

  Reed kept a watchful eye out because he was often tailed by the paparazzi, and they could be found camped outside Len’s house every few days before being rousted by the LAPD. He wasn’t seen in public with anyone besides Len, Evan, Darcy and Jake, Bryce, and a few of his Stars teammates. And the only time he was seen with Len was going to and from Dr. Kovacs’s office or the hospital.

  Len’s condition had gradually deteriorated over the prior year, and now he’d taken a serious turn for the worse. Dr. Kovacs suspected Len had stomach cancer, the disease that had killed his mother, but Len hadn’t gone in for testing yet. If Len had cancer, then he probably had full-blown AIDS as well, something they’d all been afraid would happen with Len’s history of health problems and spotty immune system. Reed didn’t know what he’d do if the worst happened. He didn’t want to think of it. He just wanted to play football and hang with Evan. When he did those two things, he was happy. Dealing with Len being sick made him miserable.

  “When we were sixteen, did you ever think we’d come out?” he murmured to Evan as they limped around the sidelines trying to work the cramp out of Evan’s calf.

  Evan made a face. “I dunno. I guess so. I’m not the type to hide who I am.”

  “That’s true,” Reed admitted. “You’re the most open and honest person I know.” Evan’s eye roll made him frown. “What? You’re not open and honest?”

  “I have secrets.”

  There was a bitter, grudging edge to Evan’s words that made Reed look hard at his best friend. The taut line of Evan’s mouth gave away his inner turmoil. Shock reverberated inside Reed. He’d never imagined Evan held anything back from him. Although there had been the fact that they’d both initially hidden their knowledge of being gay from each other until college. Still, coming out could be difficult, so Reed hadn’t thought anything of the fact that Evan hadn’t told him as soon as he’d figured it out.

  Reed swallowed hard as a sliver of apprehension speared him. What else was Evan hiding from him? “I understand,” he said with carefully measured words. “Some things are private.”

  Evan’s snort held a derisive note that accompanied a flash of dark emotion across his face. “Some things can’t ever be known,” he replied in a forbidding tone. “They’re better left buried.”

  This wasn’t like the Evan he knew. All the years he’d known Evan, he’d viewed him as an open book. To discover he had hidden depths, things he considered secrets that could never be revealed, shook Reed to the core. What else didn’t he understand about the man he’d known and loved for eighteen years?

  Reed felt a stab of pain in the center of his chest. He rarely acknowledged to himself that he loved Evan, but he did. It was his most closely guarded secret. When he’d fallen for Len’s cute, bubbly twinkishness, it had been because he’d been convinced that Evan would never love him. Len promised him so much, and Reed had been in a funk thinking he was destined to die a virgin because Evan didn’t want him. Being with Len had been easy because Len took control, dragging Reed along for the ride. Their relationship had made it simple for Reed to lock away his feelings for his best friend.

  Since they’d been drafted, Reed had found it increasingly difficult to keep his lustful thoughts locked up. He and Evan roomed together on the road. They spent hours together, more than they had during college. And since Evan had taken up with Bryce Richardson, Reed had begun thinking about Evan more and more. Of course, most of his thoughts were of Bryce fucking Evan, fueling a green monster that Reed meticulously hid inside.

  “Wanna grab some dinner later?” he asked, changing the subject in the hope that the dark mood that had settled over Evan would disappear. He knew Bryce was back in Florida, so Evan couldn’t refuse by saying he had a date.

  “Sure, but it has to be early. We have an eight a.m. meeting with the coaches, remember?”

  “I remember. Follow me home, and we’ll hit one of those places in Brentwood Village. That Italian place we found needs a repeat visit,” Reed said as he helped Evan maneuver around a pile of equipment.

  Evan moaned. “Oh, yeah. They had great baked ziti.”

  A shiver went down Reed’s spine at Evan’s moan. His cock twitched again. Unfortunately, after all the stimulation of the afternoon and then dinner with Evan, Reed knew exactly who would be starring in his dreams that night, and they wouldn’t be rated PG-13 either. He realized he’d been jerking off to thoughts of Evan quite a bit lately, but he couldn’t stop himself. Even though he didn’t like thinking about how long he’d loved his best friend, he didn’t seem to have any issues using him as a sex object. Nothing got him off faster than thoughts of Evan’s naked body and what he’d like to do to it.

  With Evan’s cramp gone, they got back to the business of training camp, but late that afternoon, Reed felt a sense of satisfaction in his gut when he looked into his rearview mirror and saw Evan’s white Suburban behind him. Being with Evan was his anchor. He could handle anything and everything as long as Evan was around.

  At Len’s house, Reed parked in the curved drive, and Evan pulled up behind him. They’d already decided that Evan would drive them to dinner and then drop Reed off later.

  “Let me take my stuff inside and check on Len. Then we’ll go,” Reed said as he set the alarm on his Escalade. “Wanna come in?”

  Reed knew Evan didn’t want to go inside, but his question usually prompted the man to accompany him. Today wasn’t any different. Evan got out of the Suburban and followed him into the house. An eerie silence met them, and Reed wondered if Len had gone out. Then he chucked that idea. Len hadn’t been feeling well enough to go anywhere.

  Climbing the stairs with Evan at his heels, Reed headed toward the master suite to check on Len. The door was ajar, and he could see the tumbled mess of the bed, but no Len.

  “Len?” he called out. When he didn’t receive a reply, he shot a look of alarm at Evan who shrugged. “Len?”

  He moved into the room, keenly aware of Evan just behind him. The air smelled stale with the faint sweet scent of Len’s hookah. Reed fought the urge to throw open the windows and let some fresh air in. He headed toward the bathroom. Maybe Len was in the Jacuzzi. He pushed open the bathroom door, revealing Len sprawled on the tile floor, unconscious in a pool of vomit that appeared to be mostly blood.

  “Holy shit!” he exclaimed, panic rushing through him. He crossed the bathroom in a couple of strides and knelt at Len’s side. He called his ex-lover’s name, trying to rouse him, but to no avail. He lifted Len’s arm and placed his fingers on the wrist, checking for a pulse. He found one, but it was weak. Looking up, he saw Evan on his cell phone calling 9-1-1.

  “The paramedics will be here in a few minutes,” Evan said as he closed his phone. “I’ll go down and let them in.”

  Reed nodded. “I need to call Dr. Kovacs.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone. “I’m sorry about dinner.”

  Evan shook his head. “Don’t be. Not your fault. I just hope Len’s okay.”

  As he turned away, Reed dialed his doctor and told him about Len. Dr. Kovacs kept him on the phone until the paramedics arrived. Then the doctor asked to speak to the paramedics. Reed stood by Evan out of the way, watching as the paramedics checked Len and prepared to transport him to the hospital.

  They followed the ambulance to the hospital in Reed’s Escalade. An hour later, Dr. Kovacs came out and let them know that Len had been admitted. The doctor was now almost certain Len had stomach cancer and that he might even have had it before he’d been infected with HIV. As Len’s next of kin, Reed had to sign all the authorizations for admittance to the hospital and for the testing. By the time they'd finished, Dr. Kovacs told them to leave because there wasn’t anything else they could do. Len was still unconscious, and the tests scheduled. He’d get back to Reed the next day.

&nbs
p; It was late when they left the hospital, and all Reed could muster the energy for was a run through a fast-food drive-through. He and Evan sat in the living room at Len’s house, munching burgers and fries and sucking down milkshakes while they tried to return to some kind of normalcy.

  “That scared the fuck out of me,” he finally said to Evan.

  “Me too.” Evan shook his head. “I can’t believe he puked up so much blood.”

  “Me either. He’s way worse than I thought he was.” Reed glanced over at Evan and grimaced. “I can’t believe it’s all ending this way. It’s freaking me out, Ev.”

  Evan’s brilliant blue eyes gleamed sympathetically. “You’ll be okay, Reed. You’ll get through all this and come out on the other side stronger than before. I believe in you.”

  Reed’s heart thumped, and blood rushed through his veins, flushing him. “I know you do. You’re always there for me.”

  They put away the trash from their food, and Reed walked Evan to the door. “Thanks for hanging with me at the hospital,” he said, stepping close to Evan as he pulled open the door. The cool night air washed over him. “I don’t know how I’d get through all this stuff with Len without you.”

  Evan smiled softly and reached up to brush back the curl that always fell over Reed’s forehead. Reed sucked in a breath at the touch, his blood firing with arousal. He realized suddenly that they stood mere inches apart. All he needed to do to steal a kiss from Evan was lean just a tiny bit forward…

  “Whatever you need from me, you have only to ask,” Evan whispered, his gaze locked with Reed’s.

  Heart pounding, Reed found himself leaning forward. His mouth brushed Evan’s. “I know,” he replied in a soft, shaky voice.