Wolfsbane: The Wolf Within

by Bethany Shay Porteous

“One, two, three—you call that putting in some effort do you, Hunter?” Blair’s voice boomed across the training hall and I cringed as the young wolf pushed himself harder, eager to please our trainer and not wanting to look weak in front of everyone. “Did I say stop, Evelyn?” I squeaked with fright and quickly resumed on the push-ups I had been instructed to do. “No, start again.”

  I made sure I didn’t groan out loud, that would only earn me another fifty push-ups and I was not keen on the idea. Instead, I bit the inside of my cheek and began from one again.

  Blair had recently retired from fighting and patrolling after he suffered an injury from silver that couldn’t heal fully. He had trouble with his legs, but it didn’t make him any less terrifying. He was tall and intimidating, standing at an impressive six feet and five inches. He looked about as hard as a brick wall and I’m sure if he hit you it would feel that way too.

  “Fifty-four,” his voice counted loudly and it echoed through the room.

  I pushed harder and suddenly I felt a surge of energy rush through me, but it wasn’t to do with my magic. It felt natural and easy, like this wasn’t as much effort as it would have been a week ago. A grin broke-out on my face from the feeling and I found myself clapping between each rise. It felt amazing, almost as if I was sharing the load with someone else and only doing half of the work.

  “Eighty-two,” Blair’s voice roared loudly.

  “Go Evelyn!” Grace shouted from somewhere in the hall. “Smash it!”

  “Yeah Evie!” Lucy yelled.

  The room was a chorus of clapping and cheering as Blair shouted out my last few numbers and when he reached one hundred, I rose to my feet without feeling like I’d broken a sweat. He examined me for a moment, ignoring all the cheering in the room as I felt an amazing surge of power flow through me.

  “You didn’t use magic?” he asked.

  “No,” I told him with excitement.

  “Good,” he nodded and his green eyes shone as he clapped me hard on the back. “Very good. Victory lap of the room and you’re done.”

  I began my lap feeling freer than I’d felt in months. Where that energy had come from, I had no idea, but I wasn’t going to question it. For once, I felt like I was able to keep up with everyone and I didn’t want to lose that. To have everyone cheering and clapping for me—it had been an amazing feeling and some of the weight I had been feeling over the last few weeks felt like it had floated away and become nothing.

  Walking home from training with Lucy, Grace and Hannah we all gushed over my newfound strength and I felt like I had an extra spring in my step.

  “With no magic whatsoever!” Hannah said. “Seriously Evelyn, your training has come such a long way!”

  “It’s a good a feeling,” I said softly. “I feel like I’m finally getting somewhere.”

  “Maybe the break from magic was good,” Grace said enthusiastically. “You’ve learnt to not rely on it, which could be why today was easier.”

  “Yeah,” I murmured. “Maybe.”

  “I have some news,” Hannah announced solemnly and we all turned to look at her. “So… Katherine’s coming home for a visit with her mate.”

  “Ugh,” Lucy scowled. “Why?”

  “Something about missing home,” Hannah muttered. “Anyways, she’s coming next weekend.”

  “Isn’t next weekend the school fair?” Grace frowned. “That reminds me, Evie, how are the art pieces going for it?”

  “The school fair isn’t for ages Grace,” Hannah jumped in before I could speak.

  “You’re showing some art?” Lucy looked at me with a glint of excitement in her eyes. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I didn’t want a big fuss to be made,” I said quietly as I rubbed my arm. “I’ve only completed two pieces so far, I need eight.”

  “You’ll have them done in time,” Hannah told me with an encouraging smile. “Do you have a theme?”

  I bit my lip as I thought about the two pieces I had painted so far. It was all black and white, only my last piece would have color in it. The work was about growth and change. I’d only shown Aiden my work, so far. I wanted to surprise everyone else. Up until now I think everyone thought artwork and I were a myth. Painting had been helping me; it was all I could think about when I was doing it and with my mind going off on its own adventures these days, it was nice to be grounded by something.

  “It’ll be a surprise,” I decided. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

  “Ugh,” Grace groaned loudly. “I hate waiting.”

  We all laughed and I felt warmth spread through me. This felt normal, to be walking and talking with each other about the fair, art and even Hannah’s troubles with her sister in-law Katherine. I had craved this relaxed environment and to feel ordinary. I finally felt as if I were at a point where everything was back to normal and whatever craziness I had been going through the last few weeks was over and I could finally move on with my life.

  I wondered what Katherine’s visit would be like when she came here. When Katherine had left she was full of condescension and threats. Katherine hated me with a passion for being Aiden’s mate as her eyes were set on him for years. During her visit the Utah pack though, she had found her mate and hadn’t bothered coming back. We’d all thrown a small party to celebrate. Katherine wasn’t the nicest she-wolf around and I wondered if her finding her mate had changed her at all. She was insanely beautiful with her flowing black hair and vibrant green eyes, but she lacked compassion and kindness which threw all those assets out the window entirely.

  “Alright well I’m meeting up with Trey,” Grace announced as she began to cross the street. “Evie, you need to go straight home at the request of my brother.”

  “Oh?” my interest piqued at the demand. What had Aiden planned this time?

  We all went our separate ways to head home and the sky was near dark when I finally arrived. Entering the house, I heard a noise coming from the kitchen, so I skipped down in that direction, noting The Alpha and Luna’s coats were missing. Could it be that Aiden and I were finally alone? Oh, please Morgana let it be.

  Aiden had his back to me as he stirred something delicious in a pot. With his amazing senses, he would have heard me come in. A grin spread across my face and I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

  “Hi,” I murmured into his back. “What’s cooking?”

  He caught one of my hands and turned to face me with a smile on his face. “A surprise,” he told me before he leant down and gently pressed his soft lips to mine. I was acutely aware of the fact I had just returned from training and no doubt smelt like a gym bag, so I quickly pulled away from him.

  “I need a shower,” I explained. “Where’s Aliyah and dad?”

  “They’ve gone out for dinner,” he told me. “Don’t take too long. Dinner will be ready in ten.”

  I nodded and quickly left the kitchen as I tried to regain some control over how fast my heart was beating. Making sure not to get my hair wet, I showered quickly and thoroughly, going as far to run the razor over my legs again.

  An outfit was laid out on my bed and I frowned as I brought it to my nose, catching traces of Grace on the fabric. Obviously, she and Aiden had planned this little date and the absence of The Alpha and Luna sent a rush of excitement through me. I put on the dark blue skinny jeans and pale pink off the shoulder top. I tousled my hair roughly, changing the way it fell a few times before I settled with it coming over my shoulder.

  Deeming myself appropriate enough I made my way back downstairs, my stomach growling at the amazing smells coming from the kitchen. Aiden was an amazing cook and I thanked Morgana that The Luna had forced him to spend long hours in the kitchen with her when he was growing up.

  Aiden was serving up the plates as I walked back in and I reminded myself to be calm, the last thing I needed was Aiden to sense how overhyped I was. I remembered back to the days where the very idea of touching him would make me blush and breakout in a nerv
ous sweat. These days, it was hard to keep my hands off him and as I watched him serve up dinner with a tea towel slung over his shoulder, looking capable and smelling amazing, it was easy to say that the shy Evelyn was nowhere to be seen tonight.

  I approached the table with a small smile on my face, sitting down as Aiden pulled out my chair for me. “So, what are we having?” I asked as I eyed the salmon on my plate.

  “Salmon with crispy potatoes and a garden salad,” he said proudly. “Everything except the fish came from mom’s garden.”

  “It smells amazing,” I murmured as I picked up my fork and took off a bit of the salmon. It fell away in my mouth and I closed my eyes in a moment of pure bliss. “Aiden, this is perfect.”

  “Thanks,” he rubbed the back of his neck as his cheeks tinged. He took a large gulp of water before he began eating his meal and I admired his features in the dim lighting of the kitchen. We talked throughout the dinner about pointless things, mostly college and how neither of us really wanted to go to school tomorrow.

  “Do you remember our first date?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I laughed quietly as I felt my stomach flutter. “We went to Bella’s.”

  “All night you looked like you were holding your breath and you would hardly tell me anything about yourself.” Aiden poured himself another glass of water and I smiled at the memory. I had been so unbelievably nervous on the date.

  “You made me nervous,” I said breathlessly. “You were so new to me and I was obsessing over if you would try and kiss me at the end of the night.”

  “I wanted to kiss you the moment I met you,” he said quietly.

  “I know,” I laughed softly. “And I couldn’t decide if I wanted you to or not.”

  Out of nowhere Aiden spun me around on the stool I sat on and I squeaked in shock, bracing my arms on his shoulders as he smirked at me. Before I could tell him off he pulled me in by my neck for a kiss and I lost all train of thought in the space of a second. Instead, I focused on the way his hands ghosted down my sides and the way our tongues danced together in unison as my body temperature seemed to rise to above normal levels.

  Aiden pulled away from me with glowing eyes and I could feel my chest rising up and down rapidly. “I have a surprise for you,” he rasped out as he helped me off the stool. “Follow me.”

  A thrill of excitement ran through me as I followed Aiden upstairs and into our room. He began to dig around in his drawers as I pressed the door shut and made my way to the bed, staring at his back expectantly. What was the surprise? He turned to face me with his hands behind his back and I bit my lip as my eyes darted from his to seeing if I could spot what it was in the mirror behind him. It seemed to fit in the whole palm of his hand.

  “You’re keeping me in suspense,” I said breathily. I stretched out my leg and nudged him. “What is it?”

  My eyes widened as he knelt in between my legs and he produced a small velvet black box from behind his back. My breath caught in my throat as I looked from the box to Aiden and back at the box again. He wasn’t…

  “It’s not an engagement ring!” he chuckled as he stroked the side of my face before his expression sobered. “Evelyn, my life without you was empty and meaningless. The very evening I saw you on the balcony, I knew you were going to be my future—my everything. You are everything I wanted in a mate, you’re strong and you overcome anything put before you. You have compassion and care about everyone before yourself.” The lid on the box popped open and I stared at the beautiful rose gold ring inside.

  “Aiden…” I whispered. The band was decorated in two rows of stones that made its way up to an intricate knot that was also encrusted in the beautiful stones.

  “It’s a promise ring,” he told me quietly. “Evelyn, I promise that things are only going to get better for us. I’m going to be here for you no matter what, for anything. We’re both one and we share each other’s burdens and trials, just as well as we share each other’s good times.” He took my hand and slipped the ring on my finger, kissing it softly. “I love you so much Evelyn, I can’t even begin to describe my feelings for you.”

  “Aiden,” I mumbled shyly as my cheeks flushed. I moved my eyes from the ring to Aiden and I grasped his chin in my hand, pressing my lips to his as tears stung in the back of my eyes. “How did I get so lucky?” I whispered.

  “I could say the same thing,” he told me.

  Both of us struggled to ever put into words what the other meant, for mates there were no ways to describe the passionate love you felt for them. It was this intense heat within your chest whenever you saw them and losing the ability to think a clear thought. It was incredibly easy to show your mate just how much you loved them. When Aiden took me into his arms and loved me so tenderly I only hoped I could show him just how much I loved him as well.

  ∞

  Cold air nipped at my legs and I shivered in surprise as my eyes flashed open to dark surroundings. Blinking hard, I focused more clearly and was stunned to see the shadows of trees around me and the feeling of cold damp dirt and leaves beneath me. I was stark naked in the middle of the forest and my first thought was, how the hell had I even gotten here?

  My head turned to the left when I heard a muffled sob come from behind a cluster of bushes and I shakily rose to my feet, being careful to keep my vital parts covered. I hesitantly tip toed over to investigate the sound. My hands trembled and my mouth was dry as the leaves crunched beneath my feet… surely if I was sleepwalking Aiden would have felt me leave the bed and stopped me?

  “Oh Goddess,” a woman cried into her hands, standing above a man who lay bleeding beneath her. “Oh, please help me Moon Goddess.”

  “Are you okay?” I demanded losing all sense of dignity as I rushed to the woman. When her head whipped into my direction, I stopped instantly and my blood ran cold. It was the she-wolf from the woods, the one with the dying mate. My head was playing with me again. “It’s just a dream,” I assured myself. “You’re not here.”

  “I am here!” the woman cried. “Please Evelyn, help me!”

  “You’re not here,” I put my hands over my ears. “I’m not really here.”

  “I am here!” she screamed.

  She’s here Evelyn, the Shadow whispered. Help her to redeem yourself from all those lives you took.

  “Argh!” I screamed. “Go away!”

  The she-wolf grabbed my arm painfully and pulled me down to her mate. “Help him and help him now before it’s too late!”

  “Stop!” I shrieked as she pressed my hands to his chest. The body was cold and lifeless, even if I could help this wolf, he was too far gone. “I can’t help you.”

  “Help him!” the woman growled savagely as she dug her nails into the back of my head. “Bring him back.”

  Do it, The Shadow hissed.

  “Help him half-blood,” a cold malicious voice hissed into the chaos. I lifted my head as dread consumed my body and I gasped out loud at the sight of Jonah standing before me, alive as ever. “Be useful for something, you pathetic excuse of a witch!”

  “N-n-no,” I wheezed as I struggled from the woman’s grip, scrambling away quickly. Not him, not Jonah.

  Strong hands hoisted me up from the sand and I screeched in terror as I came face to face with the wolf I thought had been put to bed a long time ago. Jonah looked perfectly alive and healthy in front of me with that same sadistic grin spread across his features as his eyes assessed me cruelly. “How I’ve missed the sight of you Evelyn,” he crooned as his eyes roamed over my body. His hand reached out to touch and I recoiled away. I drew back my fist and rammed it into his throat, watching him gag and gasp as I quickly backed away. Hitting something behind me I tuned to see what it was, only to come face to face with Jonah once more.

  “Me again,” he gleamed.

  “Aiden!” I shouted out. I couldn’t take this anymore; I could handle nightmares but not Jonah. I threw my hands over my face as I continuously shouted for Aiden.

  You can
end this, The Shadow told me softly. You’ve done it before you can do it again.

  A gasped choking sound broke through the hideousness of The Shadow’s voice and peered from behind my hands, watching as Jonah’s body seemed to be stretching in all different directions. Blood trickled down from his ears and his eyes as he gagged loudly. “Evelyn!” he choked. “Evelyn, help me! help me Evelyn!”

  Terror was racing through every fiber of my being and I just resumed screaming names of everyone I knew. Someone would find me out here and they would help me. I kept my eyes squeezed shut as the sounds of flesh tearing echoed through the space and the sounds of bones popping as they broke away. I was splattered in something wet and slimy and I opened my eyes, staring down at my shaking hands and arms.

  I was covered in Jonah.

  “Evelyn!” Aiden’s voice came from my left and I looked around for him, calling out his name. I couldn’t find him anywhere and my body suddenly felt like it was being jolted roughly. “Evelyn wake up!”

  Wake up?

  I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach and I bent over in pain coughing violently as my eyes flashed open. Aiden hovered above me on the bed, his eyes frantic and glowing rich amber. I sat up gasping and shaking, taking in that I was still in our bedroom and in his bed. Something wet trickled from my nose and I placed my hand to it, noting the blood on my fingers.

  “Shit Evelyn!” Aiden’s voice was thick with emotion as he pressed his shirt onto my nose. “What the hell was that?”

  I closed my eyes tightly as I leant my head back and I could feel myself ready to burst into tears. I couldn’t though, I had already terrified the life out of Aiden and I was not going to tell him the contents of that nightmare at all, no way! Instead I said nothing and focused on calming myself down, ignoring the stare that came from my distraught looking mate.

  The only thing that ran through my mind was the way Jonah had died… was that how I had killed him? My memories from the battle had been so vague and I could hardly remember much of it. If that was how I had killed Jonah… a shiver tickled its way down my spine and I willed away the tears. Now I understood exactly why my father wanted me to keep a strong handle on my magic.