Wolfsbane: The Wolf Within

by Bethany Shay Porteous

  “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “The earliest recordings are of Morgana. Was she born with magic or did she get it…?” That would be an interesting conversation to have with my father when I saw him. Thinking of Morgana had my thoughts drift to the Rosewood Sisters and their immortality. These two were direct daughters of Morgana, their magic had to be insanely powerful. Were they able to create an entirely new supernatural race like their mother had?

  “Hey, I have to go,” Sam broke into my thoughts. “I’m meeting Karla for dinner.”

  “I should get going as well,” I said. I was going to have to explain the reason behind my outburst at some point and I needed to start working on a believable excuse.

  “Maybe I’ll bump into you out here again?” Sam asked.

  “Yeah,” I smiled. “Maybe.”

  Sam gave me a wave before he took off through the woods in a blur and I stood staring after him, finally feeling calm and relaxed. I made the decision that Sam was good to talk to and if I had it my way I would be meeting him out here again.

  What would your mate say about that? The Shadow taunted.

  I put my head in my hands and groaned loudly at the reappearance of my personal Hell. It did raise a valid point though, what would Aiden say about that?

  Chapter Eight

  Something ghosted across my forehead and tickled me slightly, causing me to swipe out in a panic at the thought of some sort of insect trying to land on my face. A warm hand gripped my own flailing one and I sighed in relief as I realized it was Aiden and not some flesh-eating bug out to get me. He released my hand slowly and I sat up in the bed, squinting as he turned on the lamp beside me.

  “Aiden?” I mumbled tiredly. “What time is it?”

  “Three in the morning,” he said. “I’ve been working.”

  I ran a hand down my face as my eyes stung from the abrupt lighting. “You haven’t been around all day.”

  “I know.”

  “You didn’t text me,” I accused. “A phone call would have been nice.”

  “I know,” he sighed. “I was being stupid. The truth is Evelyn, I don’t know how to handle it. I—I don’t know how to be here for you without losing it. I just want to be able to stop—the way you feel or think. The dreams and the panic attacks… I get so angry that I can’t help you.”

  “You do help Aiden,” I whispered as I reached out to stroke his face. “Just being with me helps me… when you disappear… I feel like you’re punishing me—that you’re mad at me.”

  He brought my hand to his lips and he closed his eyes as he breathed in deeply. “I’m not mad at you. None of this is your fault.”

  “Well it isn’t yours either Aiden,” I told him gently. He remained quiet and I stifled a yawn as I looked down at his exhausted face. “Should we record this conversation?”

  “Hm?” he blinked open his eyes.

  “Well I feel like we’ve had it before and maybe we should save ourselves the effort for next time and just record this one.” Aiden shook his head at me and flicked off the lamp, climbing over me in the bed and flopping down beside me tiredly.

  “Adding to my list of things to do, ‘Stop being an idiot’, check.”

  “You have a list?” I asked as I snuggled into his side.

  “A long one.”

  “What else is on it?”

  “Make sweet, sweet love to the beautiful woman in my bed and make sure my mate doesn’t find out about it.” He flashed a toothy grin at me and I punched his arm with an eyeroll.

  “Aiden!”

  The room grew silent as Aiden wrapped an arm around me and I let my eyes flutter closed as I tried to relax again and fall back into that beautiful dreamless sleep I had been having. I ran across the day’s events again and settled on my outburst at school and realized Aiden hadn’t brought it up. Had he been told about it and just chosen to ignore it, or did he still not know? I hadn’t spoken to anyone since I had got home from my walk with Sam, I’d even skipped dinner.

  I thought back to Jonah and his words in the forest. “When you get over here…”

  Where was over here? It made me confused and annoyed as I tried to work out what he meant. Was it the afterlife? I hadn’t spared much thought to where we’d go if we died. For humans, it was either Heaven or Hell or for those who believed in nothing the end was truly that—nothing. We obviously weren’t going to be reincarnated because Jonah was physical proof of that…

  “Hey Aiden?” I whispered into the darkness.

  My words were met with a low snore and I bit my lip as I tried to settle my thoughts. I knew I was long overdue for a decent conversation with my father. Did supernatural creatures get their own special place to go? Was it not a segregated location for those who had been good and those who had been evil? Or were we all just thrown into the afterlife pot together?

  Could I be killed again?

  I broke out in a cold sweat at the very idea of being stuck with Jonah for all eternity and I bit my tongue hard as I tried to suppress the terrified scream building in my throat.

  ∞

  You’re all mine again, The Shadow whispered. What shall I show you tonight?

  Why won’t you just leave me alone? I hissed. What have I ever done to you?

  You’re the only one who got in my way—the only one to stop what I was made to do. Now you must live with it. This could be a good relationship, Evelyn. I could show you all the things you’re afraid of and help you master them. I could make you powerful beyond your wildest dreams.

  At what cost? I scoffed. I already know you aren’t good for me. You have proved that enough.

  I could be nice if we worked together.

  I’m not working with you on anything.

  Oh Evelyn, It laughed at me condescendingly. You have no idea of the power I have over you—the control I can wield. I could ruin your life.

  You already are! I snarled. Where did you come from and why—why do you keep coming back?

  I come from you Evelyn, it whispered.

  I didn’t make you and I’m not letting you control me anymore.

  Nice try Evelyn, it teased me. You can’t stop me.

  ∞

  The sound of my phone alarm blaring startled me from sleep and I gasped in surprise as I sat up in the bed, Aiden jolting beside me. My skin felt clammy and upon further inspection I noticed it was slick with sweat and the sheets were just as damp. How much had I been sweating? Aiden looked completely fine…

  “Jeez Evelyn,” he growled beside me. “Why is your alarm so loud?”

  Ignoring his whine, I quickly pat my cheeks, but they weren’t hot at all, they felt normal. My temperature was perfectly fine… Why had I been sweating so much? I quickly climbed from the bed and I ran a finger along my chest, flicking a layer of sweat off me, cringing in disgust. My stomach growled loudly and I groaned when I was hit with hunger pains.

  “Evelyn, are you alright?” Aiden asked from behind me. “You’re covered in sweat.”

  “I don’t know,” I faced him with raised eyebrows. “Maybe I just got really hot last night?”

  “I’ll say.” He eyed the damp sheets with a frown before he began to climb out of bed. “Go get the shower before Grace steals it. Do you feel okay?”

  “I feel fine…” I felt more than fine actually. I felt wide awake and my limbs didn’t have that stiffness that I’d been holding the last few days. Normally I’d wake up groggy and exhausted, but this morning I was alive and on top of the world. I felt like I could run a marathon or do intense training with Blair. Although, I was starving and could probably eat Aiden if I wasn’t fed soon.

  I managed to steal the bathroom before Grace and I quickly prepared myself for the day, tying my hair up and pulling it from my face in a tight pony tail. I jumped into some blue jeans and a pale gray top before I went to my room and tried searching for my shoes under the bed. Finding them I quickly put them on and sprung back up, feeling light and bouncy.

  It’s because of me
.

  “Evelyn,” Grace shouted outside the bedroom door. “Can I borrow your brown leather jacket?”

  I shook my head quickly and tried not to dwell on that intrusion in my mind, quickly scooping up my jacket and pulling open the bedroom door. “Here you go!”

  Grace looked somewhat stunned as she stared at me. “Evie, are you wearing makeup?”

  “No?” I frowned as I touched my face self-consciously. “Why?”

  “You look… glow-y,” she murmured as she slowly took the jacket. “Dewy. This is so unfair why do you get to wakeup gorgeous and I don’t?”

  “I did not wakeup like this,” I assured her. “I woke up with drool on my face and covered in about one hundred layers of sweat.”

  “Right,” Grace scoffed. “I’ll meet you downstairs for breakfast.”

  She turned on her heel and sauntered off to her room, slamming the door with a bang. I stared after her with a frown before I picked up my bag and made my way downstairs to the kitchen, finding The Luna in her usual spot over the stove.

  “Eggs Evelyn?” The Luna asked me.

  “Yes please,” I said as my stomach growled. I threw myself down next to Aiden as I anticipated the breakfast about to come.

  “You feeling okay?” Aiden asked me cautiously.

  “I feel really good,” I told him enthusiastically. “I feel great.”

  “I am proud to announce that this weekend we’re having a party at the Falls!” Grace made a grand entrance, waving around her phone. “Sadly, the humans are going to be attending which means poor Geoff can’t come and hang out with us.”

  “That’s a bummer for Lucy,” Aiden said through a mouthful of eggs.

  “I don’t want you two drinking too much,” The Luna said sternly as she gave me my breakfast. “Each time you go to the Falls something happens and it’s usually because you’ve had too much Wolfsbane. That goes out to all the kids in the pack going.”

  “We will be on our best behavior mom,” Grace winked at me as she hugged her mother.

  The last time I went to a party at the Falls, Aiden had gotten into a fight with some human that had been coming on to me. It felt like ages ago… I’d pretty much only just arrived in Wolfsbane then.

  “We need to get moving,” Aiden said. “We’ll be late. They have some big assembly this morning for the seniors.”

  “Probably found out what the senior prank is going to be,” Grace laughed.

  “What is the prank exactly?” The Luna asked. “It better not be too wild, the last thing any of you need is to be banned from your own graduation.”

  “They’d have to ban the whole senior class then,” Grace sniggered.

  Grace decided she was driving with us today and she squashed into the front seat with me, raving on about how far off we were from graduating. I tried to pay as much attention to her as possible but while she spoke my skin seemed to be tingling, itching almost to the point of making me want to rake my nails down my arms and tear off all the skin. I ran my hand across my neck, realizing I had goosebumps and it extended all over my body.

  I felt the sudden urge to run and I wasn’t sure where it came from.

  By the time we pulled into the school, my heart felt like it was racing a million miles in my chest and my thoughts felt almost scattered—like I couldn’t focus on one set thing. Grace was already out the door before Aiden could park properly and she loped over to our group tree, no doubt ready to chew off Lucy and Hannah’s ear.

  A blur of voices assaulted my ears and I frowned in confusion at the scattered sounds, muffled by the interior of the car. Why was it so loud? Aiden was talking next to me, but it was almost as if he were speaking underwater. My heart started to beat louder and my ears rang so painfully that I thought they’d start bleeding!

  Listen to it, let it in!

  You can’t even keep it together for the morning, look at you.

  “Evelyn!” Aiden shouted beside me and I jumped in fright. “Are you in there?”

  “Y-yes,” I said shakily as my mind went quiet again and the only sounds I could hear were the purr of the truck engine and my own breathing. “I’m here—sorry.”

  “Want to explain why your heart sounded like a marching band?” Aiden asked as he grabbed both our bags.

  I licked my dry lips and blinked my eyes as I quickly thought up a lie. “I just realized that I left one of my pieces uncovered in the art room the other day. It was a piece for the fair.”

  “Oh.” Aiden looked concerned. “Miss Greene probably covered it up for you.”

  “That’s true!” I squeaked too brightly. “Freaked me out for a second there. Come on we better head over to them.”

  Aiden’s phone rang just as we got out of the truck and he rolled his eyes as his father’s name popped up. “You go ahead without me. He probably wants to have me at the compound again today.”

  “Oh,” I deflated at the thought of not seeing him all day. “Well just in case then,” I pecked him on the cheek. “Have a good day.”

  “Love you,” he mouthed as he answered his phone. “What’s up?”

  With a heavy sigh, I slid out of the car and grabbed my bag, trying my hardest not to shut the car door too loudly. Aiden still needed to be careful about how much time he took off from school. We were so close to graduating now and every second counted. It made me wonder just how much time I would lose with Aiden when he became Alpha.

  “Aiden leaving?” Josh asked as I approached them.

  I glanced over my shoulder and watched as Aiden’s truck pulled out of the lot. “I guess so,” I mumbled. “The Alpha called just as we got here.”

  “He’s been teaching him a lot of the paperwork side of things lately,” Josh informed. “I thought I had it tough being Beta but, when I saw half the stuff Aiden was going to be taking over, I knew I drew the long straw.”

  “So, party at the Falls,” Trey nudged my shoulder. “Going to start another brawl again, Evie?”

  “That wasn’t my fault!” I protested. “They wouldn’t leave us alone and Aiden was the one who got mad.”

  “Sweet little Evie,” Trey sang as he danced around me. I raised my eyebrows at Grace who rolled her eyes at me. “Too sweet to even hurt us when we’re training. You’re never going to make it past these guns.” He flexed and kissed his muscles and I snorted.

  “Um, I’m fairly sure I’ve knocked you out plenty Trey,” I scoffed.

  “Yeah you were using magic though,” he taunted.

  “No, I wasn’t,” I said as my skin prickled. Why was he being such a pain in the ass today?

  “How would we know if you weren’t?” he asked. “I mean you could be using your magic to warp our minds and make us think you weren’t using magic.”

  I wasn’t but that’s a very good idea Trey.

  “Leave her alone, you ass!” Grace snapped as she slapped the back of his head. “Did you take your stupid pills this morning?”

  “I’m so bored,” he groaned. “I don’t want to be here today. Plus, I have a quiz this morning that I didn’t even half study for in History.”

  “Go to the sick-bay?” Lucy suggested.

  “Used that too many times this week and I never look sick either,” Trey grumbled. “Wish I was a human sometimes, I could fake it then.”

  “I can help you,” I said sweetly as I waved my hand delicately. “I can give you the runs if you want.”

  “Ew!” Grace screwed up her nose.

  “I don’t want to crap myself to get out of a test Evie,” Trey snorted. “I’m not desperate.”

  “I could break your leg?” I suggested.

  “I’d heal in five seconds.”

  “I can make it so you won’t heal,” I felt myself grinning evilly. Part of me just wanted to hurt Trey a little bit.

  He paled a little bit and I saw Josh sniggering behind his back. “Yeah,” he laughed nervously. “I’m good hey, I probably know all the stuff in that test anyway…so I should probably just do it. Man up
and do it. Yeah.”

  “Trey,” Grace asked sweetly. “Are you scared of a little broken leg?”

  “Psht,” Trey waved his hand carelessly before he looked serious. “Hell yes I am scared of getting my leg broken! What are you? Crazy!” Everyone burst into loud laughter and Trey nodded his head sulkily as he waved his hands in there. “Alright, I’m out. Laters.” He marched off to the building as we all slowly followed him, still snorting and sniggering.

  “Oh, that was good,” Lucy giggled. “He was being such a shit.”

  “How do you think I felt?” Josh said as he took Hannah’s hand. “We gave him a ride today and were stuck hearing him talk shit for ten minutes.”

  “Felt like ten hours,” Hannah sighed dramatically.

  “It’s the built-up energy. He hasn’t shifted in a week or so now,” Grace said. “Trying to limit himself for college and train his body but, Goddess, it makes him so annoying!”

  “That’s smart,” Hannah sounded surprised. “I didn’t even think of doing that…”

  “It’s something we all need to start working on,” Lucy said. “We’re not always going to be in the position where we can just strip off and go for a run. Geoff and I were talking about it the other day. He said he found it hard in the beginning and that all he wanted to do was just pack up his stuff and come home. It got better though and eventually his wolf just shut up about it.”

  The bell rang in warning and everyone began storming the school. My mind went to Aiden. How was he going to cope with college when he wasn’t getting the time he needed to restrain from shifting? He was shifting more these days than he ever had before…I knew I needed to talk to him about it. The last thing either of us needed in college was him tearing into a wolf in the middle of the hallway.

  ∞

  My gums were bleeding painfully, and I cried into the sink as I continuously filled my mouth with water as I tried desperately to rinse it out. All I could taste was that harsh metallic flavor and I panicked as the pale pink water didn’t wash clear with each rinse. I felt like someone was cutting my teeth out of my gums and I grunted loudly over the sink, glad I had soundproofed the bathroom.

  What’s wrong Evelyn? The Shadow whispered harshly. I see you are failing to make good on the threat of stopping my control over you. Look at how easily I can hurt you.