Wanting to Love You (Houston's Finest Book 3)

by Erin Rylie

  When he looked up from the table and met his mom’s eyes, he saw the truth written clearly in her eyes. “You knew,” he breathed.

  “Reese, you don’t understand.”

  “I don’t understand?” he asked, his voice rising in volume despite the control he fought to regain. “You’re right, Mom. I don’t understand how you could keep the existence of my child from me. How could you let me walk away from Becky knowing she was pregnant? How could you let her piece-of-shit parents take our son away from her for almost ten years? He was in foster care and she had to fight to regain custody of him. She had to fight for our son alone for years! How could you?”

  “I thought I was doing what was best for you at the time.”

  “How could hiding Ryker from me possibly be what was best?”

  “Her parents came to me before they spoke to you. They told me that she was pregnant and that they would be making sure she got an abortion. They insisted that you two were too young to bring a child into the world and support it. A couple days later when you told me they’d spoken to you, I told you to break it off because I wanted to save you the pain of knowing that she was pregnant and that you would lose the baby. I knew that if you found out, the two of you would try to run away and support the child, but I also knew that Becky’s father planned to keep you from getting into the Police Academy if you did that. I was just trying to do what was best for you. They called me a week later and told me that she’d had the abortion. I never knew that she had the baby, or anything about him being taken and put into foster care.”

  The anger coursing through Reese’s body wasn’t rational. He was feeling all of the hurt of the past ten years, combined with the betrayal of knowing that his mother—the person he’d trusted above any other—had known Becky was pregnant. He stood up and pushed his chair back so roughly that it fell, toppling over and crashing to the floor.

  Jesse stood up and reached out to him, but Reese shrugged off his brother’s touch. He needed to get the fuck out of here before he said something he’d regret.

  “You helped them keep me from my son. You helped them ruin a little boy’s childhood, as well as any future that Becky and I could have had. I don’t see how I can possibly forgive you for that.”

  His mom was crying, and a part of Reese’s heart went out to her, but he couldn’t stand to spend one more minute in this apartment. He needed to leave and process this. He needed to tell Becky everything so that she would understand that he hadn’t gotten any of her calls all of those years ago.

  Above all, he needed to see his son. Something about just being in Ryker’s presence calmed him and erased all of the hurt of the past. No matter what he’d gone through, he had his son in his life now, and nobody would ever be able to tear him away again.

  He left the apartment without another word, ignoring the protests of Kate, Jesse, and his mom. When he got into his car, the rage he’d fought to contain overwhelmed him and he slapped the steering wheel in front of him, letting out a wordless cry of anguish before dropping his head to the cool leather.

  When he’d calmed down enough to drive, he pulled out of the apartment complex and headed straight to Becky’s house. He needed her.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The remainder of Becky and Ryker’s day had been relatively uneventful. Her son had spent a large portion of his day working on his LEGO Eiffel Tower and, Becky guessed, thinking things through. When he’d emerged from his room, he’d asked her if they could cook dinner together—one of their Sunday night traditions.

  Ryker enjoyed helping Becky make recipes that required precise measurements so that he could work them out himself. Tonight, they had decided to give lasagna a try. She thought that he would enjoy not only measuring out the seasonings to make the sauce, but also the meticulous layering of the noodles before the whole thing went into the oven.

  For the first twenty minutes or so, Ryker had been silent while they’d worked, quietly using the measuring spoons to help Becky season the sauce and the meat. They were just preparing the mixture of cheeses the recipe called for when Ryker spoke up.

  “Have you met my uncle?”

  “I have. Many times, actually. He was in college by the time I met your dad, but he would come home for holidays and long weekends.”

  “What’s he like?”

  She thought about Jesse and tried to put words to all of the ways that he reminded her of her son. “He’s very similar to you in a lot of ways. He’s quiet, and thinks about things before he says them. I’ve always loved the advice that he gives because he carefully thinks through everything before responding. He’s methodical like you as well and loves putting together puzzles. I think he would love the LEGO puzzles you do, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that he has some at his own house.”

  “Do you think he would build one with me?”

  “You know, I think he would love that. Think of how quickly the two of you could put one of those together! You already breeze through them.”

  “Does he get upset like I do?”

  She knew that he was referring to his small fits when he got overwhelmed by everything happening around him and knew that he just wanted confirmation that there were other people out there like him. It was a comfort that everyone wanted—the knowledge that they weren’t alone in their quirks.

  “He gets overwhelmed just like you do, but he shows it a little differently. When he’s upset he tends to repeat phrases or single words. He gets very focused on one thing when his thoughts get too hard for him to handle.”

  “What else?”

  Becky continued telling him about Jesse. She told him about the ways in which she’d seen him manage his Asperger’s, the habits that he had and the hobbies that he enjoyed. She told him what she knew of him back then, and a bit of what she knew about him now from Reese. By the time they’d put the lasagna in the oven, she had told her son almost everything she knew of his uncle.

  “If you have any more questions, I’m sure your dad will be happy to answer them. Or maybe you can ask your uncle Jesse yourself while he’s in town.”

  Ryker pondered that for a moment as he took the dishes that Becky had rinsed off and placed them in the dishwasher. “Do you think he’ll stay in Houston?”

  “Your uncle Jesse? No, he has to go back to Chicago to his job and his kids.”

  “I mean Reese. He said that he didn’t know about me and that some bad people kept him away. Now that he knows about me, will he stay in Houston?”

  Oh, Ryker. She put down the measuring cup she was rinsing and crouched down so that she was at Ryker’s eye level. His gaze met hers briefly before skittering away, and he reached for the button at her wrist to play with it.

  “Your dad and I love you so, so much, Ryker. I promise you that neither of us is ever going to leave you. I love you so much that if you decide to go to college outside of Houston, I might just move to be near you.”

  “Why?” he asked quietly. She heard the unspoken end of that question, and her heart broke at the uncertainty in him. In that moment, Becky despised her parents more than she ever had. How dare they keep her son from her? How dare they hurt not only her, but him this way?

  “I love you because you’re smart and curious, because you want to know how things work and enjoy learning. I love that you’re honest and good and care about people. There isn’t a single thing about you that I don’t love, Ryker.”

  When she’d finished speaking, her son did the last thing she’d expected—he threw himself into her arms, nearly knocking her over. She steadied herself and squeezed him tightly, not wanting to ever let him go. Every single hardship she’d ever experienced in her life was worth this moment.

  When he started wriggling to get out of her grasp, she was loath to let him go, wanting just a few more moments of his affection. A light knock at the door forced her to relinquish her grip on him, and he ran to the door to open it. She’d trained him well, though, and before he opened it she heard him ask who
was at the door.

  Becky didn’t hear the response, but when the door opened, she heard the deep timbre of Reese’s voice and smiled. She had selfishly hoped that he’d be back in time to spend some time with their son before he went to bed. Ryker led Reese into the kitchen, telling him in detail about the progress he’d made with his Eiffel Tower. He was hoping to have finished it completely by the end of the week and she internally groaned at the knowledge that she’d have to spend the money to get him a new set soon. The damn things were so expensive that she should really consider investing in LEGO stock. Maybe she’d make back some of the money she was spending on them.

  “I got you something on my way over here, Ryker. Do you want to see?”

  Becky was finishing up the dishes so she didn’t hear her son reply but assumed he had nodded because there was the rustling of a bag followed by a soft gasp from Ryker. She dried her hands and turned around to see both of them sitting at the table looking at a box.

  Reese had gotten their son a large box of magnetic tiles that could be placed together to form unique shapes. She’d been considering getting him a set for a while as they were recommended on Amazon for people who purchased the large LEGO sets she frequently bought. They were colorful enough to keep Ryker engaged and would allow him to use his imagination to build all kinds of structures.

  Ryker was opening the box frantically with Reese’s help, and when they finally got the tiles out, he immediately poured them onto the table and began sorting them by color so that he could put them together. He thanked Reese quietly and then fell silent as he began to see what shapes he could form with his new toys.

  Reese was smiling as he watched, but looked up to meet Becky’s gaze. He looked weary, like the day had taken a toll on him. He stood from the table and came to embrace Becky tightly. He turned around and looked at Ryker, whose back was to them, before planting a light kiss on her lips and then touching his forehead to hers.

  “I missed you today,” he whispered.

  “You saw me this morning.”

  “That was ages ago.”

  She laughed and kissed him again before pulling out of his grasp and turning to check the lasagna in the oven. It was almost ready to pull out.

  “I’m surprised to see you here so early. Aren’t you supposed to be having dinner with your family? I thought you would either come much later or go back to your apartment tonight.”

  He looked concerned for a moment before asking under his breath, “Do you want me to stay at my place tonight?”

  She shook her head no, a smile playing at her lips. She very much wanted to spend tonight wrapped in his arms instead of alone in a cold, empty bed. The relief on his face was clear, and she felt a small thrill at the knowledge that he’d so desperately wanted to stay with her, too.

  After they’d finished eating and cleaning up, Ryker thanked Reese for his new toy and very seriously announced that he was going to bed. Some nights he asked Becky to tuck him in, but tonight he simply said good night to them both, and went to bed on his own. She heard the sounds of him brushing his teeth and washing his face before the light click of his bedroom door closing.

  The moment the door to their son’s bedroom closed, Reese lifted Becky, wrapping her legs around his waist and bringing her lips to his own in a fierce kiss. Never relinquishing his hold on her, he walked the two of them down the hallway to her bedroom and opened the door with one hand before entering the room and closing the door behind them. She marveled at his strength and ran her hands down his arms, adoring the muscles she felt there. Something about being in his arms made her feel small and delicate as well as protected.

  He turned and pressed her body against the cool wood of the door, bracing his hips against hers to hold her in place and then using his now free hands to remove the shirt she wore. Becky gasped as his lips found the swell of her breasts, and one of his hands lifted to remove them from the cups of her bra. He took a nipple in his mouth and tugged lightly with his teeth. Remembering that they couldn’t be loud, she held in the moan she wanted to release, and the sounds of her heavy breaths filled the room instead.

  The last time they’d come together had been slow and languid, but there was something hungry about Reese’s passion tonight. Needing to feel his warm skin on her own, she tugged on his shirt, indicating without words that she wanted it gone. He pulled away from her breasts to pull his shirt off with one hand—her personal favorite thing to watch a man do. The moment his shirt was off, he returned his voracious attention to her, biting and kissing her neck as his hands continued to caress her breasts. She pushed her fingers into his hair, freeing it from the confines of his hair tie, so it fell around his shoulders.

  After a few more moments of heavy petting, she wanted more and wriggled her hips until Reese pulled back and allowed her to slip down the door. She continued her fall, and went to her knees, reaching for the button of his jeans and lowering them and his boxers in one swift move. She heard his sharp intake of breath as he realized her intention and wasted no time, licking the tip of his cock while moving her hand slowly but firmly up and down the shaft.

  Reese was too big for her to comfortably fit in her mouth, so she laved her tongue on the tip of his dick while working his shaft for a few moments, and then filled her mouth with as much of him as she could take. His hands wound their way into her hair and his hips began to gently thrust, pushing himself gently into and out of her mouth. She quickly found a rhythm that had his thighs tensing beneath the hand she had braced there, and heard his breaths quicken.

  Before she could finish the job, Reese pulled her up and moved her back toward the bed. “Pants off,” he said gruffly. She met his eyes while she slowly removed her pants and thong, and her entire body ignited at the hunger she saw there. His gaze left hers and took in the body she was bearing to him slowly. When her jeans and underwear had pooled on the floor, she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, letting it fall to the floor and leaving her completely naked before him.

  For a moment, he just stood there, his chest rising and falling in rapid breaths. His hand moved slowly down his own body and he firmly grasped his dick in his hand, pumping it a few times before squeezing and releasing it. He prowled toward her like a wild animal preparing to pounce on prey. Instead of backing toward the bed, she stood still, her entire body trembling with the desire she felt for this man.

  When he reached her, he roughly picked her up and tossed her on the bed before joining her there. He kissed his way down her body, his attention culminating at the apex of her thighs. He sucked her clit into his mouth while simultaneously pushing two fingers into her.

  Again, Becky had to fight the urge to cry out as he worked her into a frenzy with his tongue, teeth, and fingers. Had she ever wanted anyone more than she wanted him right now? She knew she hadn’t, and she doubted that she ever could. Within moments of her first orgasm washing over her, Reese thrust into her, filling her in one stroke and covering her mouth with his own, effectively swallowing the moan she could no longer hold back.

  He held himself still, allowing her time to adjust. When she was ready for him to move, she rocked her hips up to meet his. He moved slowly at first before working himself up to the punishing pace they both wanted. She met him thrust for thrust, wrapping her legs around his waist so that her heels dug into his ass. Her arms wrapped around him as well, her nails scratching down in his back, something that she knew he liked. His low moan of approval filled the room, turning her on even more.

  When she felt him getting close, his hips stuttering and breaths quickening with his impending orgasm, she moved one hand down between them to circle her clit so that she could join him. She felt his entire body tense, and he bit down on her shoulder, muffling the sound of his moan as he came, emptying himself into her. His orgasm brought on her own, and she threw her head back as the euphoria of their joining crashed over her.

  They lay there for a while, letting their breaths slow together as they both came b
ack to themselves. Reese kissed his way up her neck to her lips, planting a sweet kiss there before pushing up off the bed and moving to the bathroom to clean up and bring back a damp washcloth for her. She smiled at the sweet gesture and cleaned up before heading to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face before bed.

  She looked in the mirror and saw the marks he’d left on her breasts and neck. Reese had always been a passionate lover, and she loved seeing his marks on her body. She had to wonder what had gotten into him, however. There had been a desperation to his love-making tonight that gave her pause. She loved sex with him and would take it in any form, but she wondered if there was something he wasn’t telling her. Spending the day with his family was bound to be stressful with everything going on. There was the additional tension that came with telling them about Ryker, but something told her that none of those things were what were bothering him tonight.

  The way he’d held her so tightly, as though he was afraid to let go, made her think that perhaps some of the stress he was feeling was about them. She finished getting ready for bed and returned to her room, turning off the light behind her before crawling under the sheets with Reese.

  His body instantly found hers, his arms pulling her into him. “What’s wrong, Reese?”

  She felt the tension in his body and instantly worried about what he needed to tell her. He heaved a heavy sigh and she felt his body release some of its strain as he sunk into her embrace. “Remember when we were talking at lunch and you mentioned that you had called me repeatedly after I left? In the heat of the moment, the words didn’t really penetrate, but when I was talking to my mom about Ryker, she didn’t react the way I expected. She seemed kind of confused and less excited than I had thought she’d be. Then I started thinking about what you said, and realized that I had never gotten any calls from you back then. I was a mess and I missed you like crazy. I know for a fact that if I had gotten calls from you, eventually I would’ve broken down and answered, but I didn’t get any of them.”