Forgetting to Breathe

by Megan E. Bean

  Great. The one day I didn’t want to be partnered with Keira. I felt like I was going to die. Would she be mad at me for putting her under the impression that I was straight?

  “Hey, math buddy,” she cheerfully said and sat down in the chair next to me.

  “Hey, study buddy,” I smiled back at her, but inside I was freaking out.

  “So, how was your weekend?” she asked, grabbing her packet out of her folder and flipping to the page we left off on.

  “Oh, it was alright. Went skydiving. Had a paint ball war. You know, the usual,” I sarcastically replied and she looked at me and smiled again.

  “And by that you mean hung out and home and watched Netflix?”

  “Ooh, you see right through me,” I responded and she chuckled a little. She was a hundred percent correct.

  We started on a few of our math problems and it was pretty uneventful. No mention of the football game. Maybe she was so drunk, she didn’t notice at all.

  “Okay, so number nineteen. What the heck is this—hieroglyphics?” I asked her, causing her to giggle.

  “So, you know what I was thinking?” she asked me and my heart started beating faster.

  “Hmm?” I tried to sound normal.

  “So, I know I drank a little Friday, but I could have sworn I saw you kiss a girl?” she questioned and looked into my eyes. The eye contact made me uncomfortable.

  “Oh, yeah,” I replied to buy time. I panicked. What should I say? I thought back to Jennifer’s pep talk. “Yeah, she’s my…girlfriend.” The words sounded foreign coming from my mouth.

  “Oh,” she trailed off, looking back at her paper. “I was under the impression that you were straight,” she stated, still looking at the packet.

  “Oh, yeah, I…” It was my turn to trail off now. I didn’t know what to say. She looked up at me now, waiting on my reply. “We just…I just wasn’t ready to really be out, you know?” I could feel my face getting red and I had no clue why. She was still staring at me and I couldn’t read her.

  I couldn’t help but look at her pink, plump lips. I wondered what they tasted like. Her bright brown eyes had a flake of gold in each of them. I hadn’t noticed that before. It made her even more flawless to me. I came back to my senses and noticed she was still looking at me. I looked away and so did she.

  “That’s understandable,” she simply said, and we continued with our work.

  * * * *

  “That’s it? She just said that’s understandable’?” Jennifer asked, incredulously.

  “Yeah. And that’s it. What does that mean?” I sighed.

  “It means that she is reasonable and realizes it’s understandable,” Ariel chimed in from the living room.

  “Always the voice of reason, Ariel,” Jenny responded, rolling her eyes. “What look did she have on her face?” She looked back towards me. I was lying on the bed, splayed out in a dramatic fashion.

  “She just…stared at me.”

  “Stared? But what did her face look like?” my best friend tried again.

  “I don’t know. It was blank.”

  “Maybe she is just trying to suppress her feelings,” Ariel responded, coming into the bedroom and sitting at my desk, facing us.

  “That could be it!” Jennifer hopefully responded.

  That would be nice, but I wasn’t so sure. I should have looked over at Sadie to see what was going on there, but I was too afraid to look at her. Keira hadn’t mentioned anything about her in class. That wasn’t unusual, though.

  “But just in case, we need to hatch another plan,” Jenny got up from the bed and was pacing around the room. I watched her, amused. “Hmm. Okay, how about we get them to join us on a double date?”

  “Are you out of your mind? And how would we do that? Say hey, wanna go on a date with me and my girlfriend. Why? Because us lesbians have to stick together’?”

  “It’s not the craziest thing ever, actually,” replied Ariel. She was filing her nails now, distracted, but joining in nevertheless.

  “Thank you!” Jenny said, loudly. “Just hear me out. Look, us going on a date will show her what a great girlfriend you would be to her. Think of it as an audition.”

  I don’t know if she was the devil on my shoulder or my voice of reason, but she had me on board. It actually made sense. But was I prepared to spend an evening with Sadie giving me evil looks?

  “J, why are you going along with this? Isn’t it going to make you uncomfortable?” I asked her.

  She grabbed my hand and spoke softly. “Ash, it is my duty to make sure my best friend is happy. Plus, I’ve already seen you naked, we cuddle all the time…We are practically dating already,” she replied and winked at me, causing me to laugh.

  “That’s for damn sure. You two are a cuter couple than me and my idiot,” Ariel said and we all shared a laugh. I had the best friends in the world.

  * * * *

  “Okay, class, we are partnering up for this assignment,” Mr. Dunphy said and I wondered why we needed to partner up so much in a math class. I pushed that thought aside, though. My excitement was building, hoping Keira and I would be partnered up again.

  He rattled on with the pairings and my heart dropped whenever he said my and Sadie’s name together. I looked towards her and my new love interest, and she was staring at me. I used to think that Keira’s stares made me uncomfortable, but this was a whole new level.

  She smoothly slid into the seat next to me. The seat that Keira used to occupy. She gave me a cold smile.

  “Hey, Ashley.”

  “Hey,” I muttered. I tried avoiding eye contact with her, but her stare was magnetic. She was like a Disney villain who had a hold over me.

  “So, you’re into girls, huh?” She didn’t give me a chance to reply. “I knew it. I knew Keira was lying to me,” she said, with a bitter look on her face.

  “Wait, no. I told her I was straight. I didn’t want to cause problems between you two,” I quickly defended her.

  “Cause problems between us? Why would you cause problems between us?” The blonde snipped at me.

  “No, I’m not saying that I would. It’s just that I didn’t want you thinking there was anything to feel jealous of, you know?” I fumbled over my words like an idiot. She was so intimidating and cold. What did Keira see in her?

  “Jealous? And what would there be to be jealous of?” she asked, her voice raising. She was offending me, but I was too much of a chicken to defend myself.

  “Nothing. I didn’t mean it like that, I—”

  “I’m just fucking with you,” she cut me off, thankfully. I was tired of making a fool of myself. She had a cold smile on her face still. Despite her words, I could tell she wasn’t just messing with me. “So, I’m not good with math. Can I just copy your work? Thanks,” she stated and pulled out her phone, scrolling through Facebook and not waiting on a response from me.

  She was so rude and unpleasant. I really couldn’t see why someone as sweet and as funny as Keira would be with her.

  “How long have you and your girlfriend been together?” she asked, not looking up from her phone.

  “Oh, umm. Just a couple of months,” I replied. Jennifer and I didn’t go over this part of our plan. I hope that my answer was acceptable.

  “A couple months, huh? You two seem very…passionate,” she said and almost sounded disgusted. She was really starting to rub me the wrong way.

  “Is there a problem with that?” I said, a little angrily.

  “No,” She quickly responded, raising an eyebrow at me and there was that stare again. She was sizing me up.

  “My girlfriend and I were thinking it would be cool to have a double date with you two,” I blurted out the suggestion. I was impressed that I actually did it. Jennifer would be, too. I mentally high fived myself.

  Sadie continued staring at me for a moment before reply. “Sure.”

  “Cool,” I responded. And those were the last words we spoke for the rest of the class.

 
* * * *

  “So, you know when you’re dreaming and you’re having a nightmare and you wake up before you die?” Jennifer asked us all and we nodded, motioning for her to continue. “Well, it’s because our brain has no knowledge of what happens after death,” She finished, looking at us, expectantly.

  “What kind of mumbo bumbo shit is that?” Johnny asked, not believing her.

  “It’s mumbo jumbo, jackass,” I replied and laughed at him. “I think that is really cool, J. I love your little fun facts,” I replied, smiling at her, and she beamed.

  “Thank you, girlfriend,” she said and winked at me.

  “How long are you two going to pretend to be dating?” Ariel asked, amused at the fact that Jenny was in my lap, just in view of Keira.

  “Well, we have a date this weekend, so at least until then,” Jennifer replied, grabbing a fry off of my tray and feeding it to me.

  “Well, I think you two should take as long as you have to. You two are hot together,” Jacob joined the conversation, grinning.

  “Normally, I would call you a perv, but in this case, I agree with you. Right, honey?” She looked at me and I nodded, laughing.

  “Hey, Engles. Jennifer. Gang,” I heard her smooth voice. I looked up at her and couldn’t help but grin. She was dressed casually today—no golf polo. She wore a simple band t shirt and jeans with her signature UnderArmour sneakers on. That seemed to be her favorite brand, I noticed.

  “Mitchell, hey,” I replied and loosened my arms around my girlfriend’s waist. Jennifer then grabbed my hands and returned them to their previous position.

  Keira’s eyes glanced down to our hands and looked back up to me, immediately. “So, we are still on for Friday, right?” Her smile had faltered a bit.

  “Yes,” I answered a little too quickly. A smile was growing on her face and I knew she wanted to make fun of me, but she held back.

  “Cool, so just text me later and we will figure out where we are going, okay?” She grabbed a piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to me. Jennifer grabbed it, though. I looked at her with a frown on my face, which she ignored. Keira’s eyes flittered to the note, then back to me before saying her goodbyes and going back over to her table.

  “What was that about?” I asked, annoyed with my fake girlfriend.

  “Hello, I’m not going to let my girlfriend get someone’s number in front of me,” she said. She handed me the paper, but continued. “You can have it now that I’ve maintained my self-respect, however.”

  I stuck my tongue out at her and unfolded the paper and smiled when I read it.

  Hey Engles,

  Text me sometime, would ya?

  (480) 555-0000

  X Mitchell

  “Did she write you a love letter?” Ariel cooed, snatching the paper from my hands. She looked disappointed with the letter. “Oh my God, how boring.” She threw it back to me.

  I continued smiling. I had her number. I looked over in her direction and saw that she was looking at me. We both quickly averted the eye contact.

  Chapter 4

  We had all decided to go to Funtastiks. It was a little juvenile for us, but none of us seemed to mind—except Sadie, that is. Funtastiks was like a small amusement park. It had laser tag, arcade games, mini golf, a water ride, and a food court. We decided to eat first, as we waited on our laser tag game to start.

  “I don’t know why we couldn’t just go out to eat. My hair is going to get all messed up and I have to wear that God-awful vest,” the blonde complained, huffing and puffing.

  “Hey, it’s going to be fun. Don’t be such a wet blanket,” Keira replied and received a scowl in return. “Plus, I’m a laser tag champion,” she boasted proudly, before ripping off a piece of her pretzel and devouring it.

  I laughed because of her brag, but also because she had cheese on her chin. “Hey champion, you have something there,” I said, pointing to my chin to show her where it was and she blushed a little, wiping her face with a napkin.

  “This is no example of my abilities,” she replied, smiling at me, and I got lost for a second. I had to remind myself to breathe, before our girlfriends brought me back down to earth.

  “Let’s go get geared up, babe.” Jenny grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the little cave-like area where there were vests and guns on the walls. The two other girls followed us. They were talking, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

  My best friend and I helped each other into our vests and we grabbed out guns off of the wall. Our game was starting soon. We were playing with a few other kids to make it a full game. But the four of us made it clear that we were all out for blood.

  “You bitches are going down,” Keira said, cockily.

  “As if, I’m going to kick your asses,” Jennifer quipped, looking down the barrel of her gun.

  “You two are cute. But you guys aren’t even going to see me in there.” I smirked, holding my gun in position.

  “Wait, do we shoot each other or the kids—” Sadie was cut off by the buzzer and we all took off.

  I ran to the furthest place from the entryway, giving myself a head start. I hid behind a man-made bolder, waiting for any sign of movement. I saw a little boy walk by me and I thought about sparing him, but I couldn’t resist the urge. I shot him and his vest lit up.

  “Aw man!” He dropped his head and trudged away.

  I waited a little longer and there was no sign of movement. I decided to go on the move. I carefully walked through the arena, jumping behind the rocks and inside of the caves each time I heard movement. A young girl was walking towards me and I wondered if she could see me.

  Suddenly, it was clear that she did. I decided to run like hell. I narrowly escaped her shot and looked behind me to make sure she wasn’t there. I was in the clear.

  Well, almost. I had run right into something. Or someone, I should say. I ricocheted off of them and struggled to maintain my balance. Gripping onto my gun, I got back on my feet and was face-to-face with Keira.

  “Well, well, well, what do we have here?” She smirked, stepping closer to me. “I thought we weren’t going to see you?” she mocked me.

  “This is just a small hiccup in the plan,” I responded and took a step closer, getting my gun ready.

  “Don’t you dare, Engles. Don’t make me shoot,” she said, and I got chills through my body. I don’t know why. She just looked so sexy.

  “Oh yeah? And what are you going to do if I shoot? You’ll be out of the game,” I replied to her. My breath caught as she stepped even closer. She was a mere couple of inches away from me now.

  “And who says you would shoot me first?” Her smirk was back. I couldn’t help but look between her lips and her eyes. The neon lights flickering across her face. I felt like I might die.

  She moved her face next to my ear and continued, “I know you don’t want to get me out of this game.” I could feel her breath against my ear and I couldn’t handle it. I felt like I was going to suffocate.

  I panicked. I pointed my gun to her chest and shot, lighting up her vest. She looked at me in shock.

  Before she could say anything, my vest lit up. We looked behind me and saw that it was Jenny.

  “You bitch! You aren’t supposed to shoot me!” I yelled at her, but started laughing at her victory dance. That dance was short-lived however, due to her vest immediately lighting up. Behind her, was Sadie, smiling and jumping up and down.

  * * * *

  “I can’t believe Sadie won,” Jennifer pouted, followed by a gasp from Sadie.

  “And why is that?” she asked, offended.

  “Well, babe. You aren’t exactly the sporty type,” Keira responded. My stomach twisted every time she called her babe.

  “I know, but it is all about stealth.” She smiled, proud of herself.

  Maybe she wasn’t so bad.

  “Anyways, can we get out of this shithole?” she continued, and I retracted my earlier thought.

  “Oh my God, seri
ously?” Keira said and I was kind of shocked. I had never heard her sound annoyed before.

  “We are going to go return our vests, guys. Be right back,” Jennifer interrupted, successfully extracting us from an awkward situation.

  “That was tense,” she said to me once we were out of earshot.

  “My God, I know,” I agreed. “But did you see how close she was to me in the laser tag arena?” I giddily asked her and she smiled.

  “Yeah, sorry I had to shoot you. I knew her girlfriend was right behind me. I didn’t want her to see. That is too much drama to handle.” Jenny made a face.

  “Yeah, no, thank you for that,” I replied and laughed. That would have been terrible.

  I glanced back over to our table and didn’t see them. Did they leave? Great. I felt my stomach drop.

  “Where did they go?” Jenny questioned and I shrugged my shoulders. “Well, don’t let it ruin our fun. Wanna go play some games?” She tried cheering me up and I agreed, following her over to the arcade.

  “If you are going to play that stupid fish game, I am going over here to play the Coin Dozer,” she stated firmly and I laughed. She knew me too well.

  I went over to the Fish Reel and put in a couple of tokens. This was my lucky game. It was boring, yes, but once I won so many tickets that they had to replace the roll to pay me out. I spun the reel and got five hundred tickets immediately. Jennifer was missing out.

  “You are quite the fisherman, I see.” I heard a voice behind me. Her voice. I turned around almost embarrassingly quickly and a smile grew on my face when I saw her.

  “Oh, you have no clue,” I said, smoothly. I was impressed with myself for not tripping over my words. But, to be fair, talking to her was so comfortable. Our banter, our growing inside jokes—it was nice.

  “Hmm.” She walked over beside me, leaning against the glass. “How do I know it wasn’t a fluke?” Her eyebrow raised and a smirk was on her face. God, she was so hot.

  “Well,” I started off and put another token in the machine. “Watch this.” I pulled the reel again and it landed on ten tickets. “Okay, that was a fluke,” I defended myself.