A Forgetful Heart (Whispers In Wyoming Book 8)

by Rachel Skatvold

  A few minutes later, she headed out of her cabin with her fishing pole while Copper kept pace beside her. Austin already waited at a little picnic table outside his camper with his fishing pole in his good hand and his tackle box on the ground by his feet. He wore an old pair of jeans and a professional bull riding t-shirt that day that showed off his arm muscles. Laina had to take a few deep breaths to calm her pounding heart. “Well you’re looking sharp this afternoon, cowboy. How’s your shoulder feeling?”

  “Almost good as new,” Austin said with a grin and carefully rotated it, grimacing a little with the movement. Most people wouldn’t have noticed, it was so brief, but she did. “It’s funny. You don’t realize how much you use your left arm until it’s out of commission. I’m so glad to have it almost back to normal.”

  “I bet,” Laina said, swiping the tackle box off the ground before he could.

  Austin followed her as she headed toward the pond. “I could have carried that. I’m fine, really.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Laina mocked as they reached the high weeds surrounding the pond. “That look on your face didn’t escape my attention. I know you’re still in a little pain.”

  “So, you still think you know me like the back of your hand?” he called from behind.

  A smile curved on her lips. “Sure do!”

  He chuckled while catching up with her on the dock. “Okay then. How do I like my eggs?”

  “Scrambled with salsa on top.”

  He nodded with an amused grin while getting into the boat first and then reaching up to help her. She dodged and hopped into the boat on her own steam. Austin rolled his eyes at the typical Laina move and continued with his little game while untying the rope fastened to a dock post. “That was just a warm up. Let’s see…my shoe size.”

  She took the oars before he could grab for them and started rowing out to her favorite fishing spot by a log on the other side of the pond. “Eleven and a half.”

  “Good one. Favorite dessert?”

  “Apple Fritters.”

  He grinned and rubbed his chin for a moment before his eyes lit up. “Okay, smarty pants…my GPA when I graduated high school.”

  Laina thought for a long moment before announcing, “2.4.”

  “Ouch! Okay, that one hurts, Miss 3.8 who graduated with honors.”

  Laina laughed, but her face turned beet red, shocked that he remembered hers as well. “Well, I’m not the one making up the questions. It’s your own fault!”

  He put his hands up in surrender and an amused chuckle escaped his mouth. “Okay, I guess it’s fair to say that you know me pretty well.”

  “Thank you for admitting that you were wrong,” Laina teased with a proud raised chin as they reached the fishing spot. For just a moment, they were silly carefree kids again. She wished they could stay in the fantasy forever, back when things were simple and their decisions didn’t carry so much weight.

  He raised an eyebrow at her. “So, this is where you catch all the prize-winning bass?”

  “Sure is,” she said with a sarcastic lilt to her voice. “It’s a top secret fishing hole. Only VIP members of Morgan Stables are authorized to fish here.”

  He chuckled at her joke. “Oh, is that so. Well, thankfully I’m married to a VIP member who can smuggle me in.”

  “Yeah,” she agreed with a chuckle while finding a lure and hooking it onto the clasp on her fishing string. Then, she cast her line out past the log. Laina welcomed the sounds of the bullfrogs and crickets. They filled up the awkward silence and allowed her time to think and enjoy the spring day. The breeze still chilled her a little bit, but the sun kept her warm enough to feel comfortable. It felt so strange laughing and joking with Austin like old times. She didn’t know whether it made her happy, remembering what they’d shared together or sad because they’d lost it. Maybe it was a strange mixture of both.

  Austin looked deep in thought as he reeled in his line and recast it. “Do you remember that night when we snuck out and borrowed the Millers’ boat to go out on their pond?”

  Laina arched an eyebrow in amusement. “You mean stole, right?”

  “Okay, miss smarty pants. Yes, I guess we did steal it.”

  She chuckled while casting her line again, the boat rocking slightly with her movement. “I remember it well. After all, we sunk it. We both had to give the Millers a month’s worth of paychecks to replace that old rusty piece of junk.”

  Austin avoided her eyes and tried to hide a guilty grin, but failed miserably. “Sorry. I kind of forgot about that part.”

  She stared at him in disbelief. “How could you forget something like that?”

  He looked in her direction and for a moment his eyes took on a sentimental gleam. “I guess I just like to remember the good parts, like how, right before the boat hit that hidden rock and sank, you told me that you loved me for the first time.”

  Laina gulped back a sudden flood of emotion welling up inside her. She had almost forgotten about that, but Austin obviously remembered it very well. The look in his sky blue eyes gave her hope. If they could remember why they fell in love in the first place, maybe they had a chance.

  All of a sudden, the pole in Austin’s hand jerked downward. “Got a big one!” he grunted and pulled up to set the hook. Then the trouble happened. He tried to reel the fish in, but winced as it fought him, putting too much pressure on his injured shoulder.

  Laina stood up and ambled toward him, struggling to keep her balance in the rocking boat. “Here, let me help!” She tried holding onto the pole as he reeled the fish in. It worked and they got the fish just inches from the boat. Then the line snapped and the momentum from pulling on the pole jerked them both backwards. “Whoa, whoa!” Austin shouted as he tried to hold onto her, but his plan backfired and they both plunged into the water head first.

  Laina came up first, sputtering and shivering in the cool spring air while Copper howled at them from the shore. “It’s okay, boy. We’re fine,” she called out, chuckling at their mishap, but then the smile left her face. Something was wrong. Austin had been underwater for too long. She whirled around, fear gripping her heart as she treaded water. “Austin? Austin…answer me!”

  He peeked his head out from the other side of the capsized boat a few seconds later, laughing as he swept the wet hair off his forehead. “Miss me?” he asked, swimming toward her.

  “Austin! You’re such a jerk!” she shouted and splashed water at him. “I thought you were tangled in the weeds at the bottom of the pond.”

  “So you did miss me then,” he teased, standing in the chest deep water.

  She nodded, her relief finally overtaking her anger. “I’ve never stopped missing you…for six years.”

  Austin’s goofy grin left and an old flame ignited for a moment as his sky blue eyes gazed into hers. Then time and reality blurred as he pulled her into his arms. “Me too,” he whispered before planting an impulsive kiss on her lips. After a few moments he leaned back, his eyes asking an unspoken question.

  Her mind argued with her heart, telling her not to trust him again, but in the end her heart won as she wrapped her arms around his neck and answered with a passionate kiss that left them both breathless. For a moment, Laina pushed all her apprehension aside. In Austin’s embrace, nothing mattered—not the cold pond water around them or the years they’d spent apart. They were just two naïve kids in love, with nothing to lose.

  Chapter Fourteen

  After changing into some dry clothes, Austin headed back to Laina’s cabin to check on her. Just as he thought, she answered the door in a long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants but still shivering. “I guess fishing in sixty degree weather might have been a bad decision,” she said, teeth chattering.

  “I’ll start a fire,” Austin said and entered before she could protest. It had taken them fifteen minutes to pull the boat to the shallow edge of the pond and another fifteen to flip it back over and gather all their belongings from the chilly water. Laina’s lips had been
an unnatural shade of purple when they finally arrived back at her cabin.

  He pulled Laina’s oversized chair and matching foot rest closer to the fireplace. “Here, sit down.” To his surprise, she did without protest. After covering her with a nearby quilt, he tossed some kindling into the fireplace and struck a match to get it started.

  Laina still shivered but smiled at him from her chair. “I have to admit, my life is never boring with you in it, Austin Gaines.”

  He chuckled as he stoked the growing flames and placed a few larger logs on top. “I’m not sure if that was meant as a compliment, but I’ll take it.” When the fire seemed to be self-sustaining, he stood close to it and rubbed his hands together, still shivering.

  “Well, there’s no sense in standing by yourself,” Laina said, scooting over in her chair. “I have plenty of room.”

  Austin raised one eyebrow in surprise, but didn’t object. A few moments later, they were cuddled up under a quilt in the chair with her head resting against his chest. He closed his eyes and held her a little closer, savoring the moment. It felt like an eternity had passed since they’d held each other like this.

  After they both stopped shivering, Laina lifted her head and turned until they were face to face. Her lips curved into a happy smile. “I’ve missed this, Austin. I’ve missed us.”

  “Me too,” he whispered, caressing her cheek with his fingers while gazing into her emerald eyes. “I keep wondering how in the world I ever managed to lose you, Laina. It’s a mistake I never want to make again…but I don’t know how if I can’t remember what I did wrong.”

  Laina kissed his lips gently and then leaned back to look into his eyes again, her eyes suddenly full of tears. “Oh, Austin,” she whispered and framed his face in her hands. It wasn’t any one thing that you did. Sure, the addiction was the last straw…but in the end it was both of us. I…I think we just forgot.”

  He furrowed his brow, confused by her statement. “Forgot what?”

  Her fingers weaved through the dark curls in is damp hair. “We forgot what it felt like to love each other. When we were teenagers without a penny to our names, it seemed much easier to love without worrying about what the future held because we had nothing to lose. Somewhere along the way, we lost that. You got this notion in your head of building a perfect life for me…but I didn’t need all that. I just needed you to be my husband. I told myself that you were to blame for my unhappiness after everything crumbled apart, but it wasn’t completely true. There was this void in my heart that only God could fill. I keep praying that someday you can know the peace that I found in Him, too.”

  Austin sighed at the awkwardness the God talk always brought into their conversations. In truth, he wasn’t completely turned off to the idea of a higher power guiding their lives anymore. He just needed some time to clean up his life, like Laina and the people she went to church with. Maybe then, God would be able to accept him.

  Austin pulled Laina back into his arms again, not ready to tell her what was truly in his heart just yet. However, she didn’t seem as comfortable as before, like she knew he just wanted to avoid the subject. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and nuzzled his cheek against the top of her head. “It’s not that I’m completely against your new faith. I’m glad that it comforts you. I just need some time to work it all out in my mind.”

  “Of course,” she whispered and placed her hand over his heart. “Just remember that I’m right here if you ever want to talk about it.”

  “I will.” He smiled against her golden head of hair and stayed silent for a while, thinking of how his father tried to tell him something similar right before Austin left home. At the time it had angered him, but now he realized his father had only been trying to help him.

  After a few moments, he broke the silence and managed the courage to ask, “Laina, could you do something for me tomorrow after work?”

  She lifted her head enough so their eyes met. “Of course. What is it?”

  He took her hand in his and paused for a moment while tracing the lines on her palm. “Come with me to visit my dad?”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Austin’s heart pounded as he entered the nursing home, but feeling Laina’s hand in his made him feel stronger. He looked down into her emerald eyes and managed a brave smile. “Thank you for coming with me.”

  She nodded and squeezed his hand a little tighter. “Thank you for asking me. I want to support you, Austin…in whatever you need.”

  He smiled and kissed her hand. “How did we get so lucky to find each other again?”

  “I don’t think luck had much to do with it. Someone else had a hand in it.”

  “You know, I think I’m starting to believe you, Lainey,” he said as they made their way past the nurses’ station and made a right turn down his father’s hallway.

  Laina rested her head against his arm and let out a contented sigh. “I’m happy to hear it.”

  Twenty seconds later, they were standing outside his father’s room. Austin paused, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Here goes nothing,” he said just above a whisper. Would his father be happy to see him, or would he ask him to leave? So many questions swirled through his mind, remembering how they’d argued about him joining the rodeo circuit ten years ago. His dad said he was throwing his life away and Austin said plenty of things he didn’t mean. Now he wished he could take it all back.

  Laina seemed to sense his apprehension and stood in front of him, taking both his hands in hers. “Austin, he’s not bitter anymore and I can tell that you aren’t either. We both know that your dad is a man of few words, even before the stroke…but every time I come in to visit, he asks about you first. That says a lot. You’ll both feel a lot better after you’ve made peace with each other. Are you ready?”

  He nodded and walked into the room, holding tight to one of Laina’s hands. His heart broke, seeing the fragile shell of his father laying in the hospital bed. Before Austin had left, his father’s hair had been dark brown with specks of gray. Now his hair was almost completely gray, his cheeks gaunt and one side of his face drooped from the stroke. He appeared to be sleeping, but Austin sat in the chair by his bed anyway, fighting back tears. Why had he stayed away for so long and allowed his father to deteriorate like this? Laina’s gentle hand rested on his shoulder, helping him keep it together.

  A few moments later, his father’s eyes slowly fluttered open. At first he seemed confused and then his blue eyes locked with Austin’s. His mouth opened a few times before he finally managed to rasp, “S-son? He reached for Austin’s face with his good hand and attempted to speak again, but all his words slurred together. “I-is it r-e-a-l-l-y y-you?

  He held his father’s hand against his cheek and nodded “It’s me, Dad. It’s Austin.”

  Tears dripped down his father’s cheeks and his hands started to tremble.“W-wel-come h-home.”

  Austin’s face contorted as he tried to hold back his emotions. “I’m sorry, Dad. I wasn’t there. This is my…it’s my fault…I’m sorry,” he choked out and buried his head in his hands, sobbing.

  A moment later, his father’s good hand rested on his back. “Shh…Shh…D-don’t b-blame your-s-self,” his dad slurred. “I-I l-love y-you.”

  Overwhelmed by the second chance he didn’t deserve, Austin threw his arms around his father and they wept together for a long time. He had forgiven and welcomed him back into his life with no questions asked. Austin didn’t understand it, but he had never been one to turn away a free gift.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The next week included some of the happiest days in Austin’s life…from what he could remember anyway. He had made peace with his father after years of resentment between them and things were going great with Laina. They took long walks and horseback rides together when she had breaks from work and they reminisced about the past. Austin even attended church with Laina on Sunday. At home, they were like a couple again whenever they had privacy, sneaking in kisses, hugs and
holding hands for the fun of it. Still, even though they attempted to keep their relationship developments a secret, it didn’t surprise him that Trevor approached him on Monday before he went to have lunch with Laina to ask him about his intentions with her.

  “I love her with all my heart and only want what’s best for her,” Austin told him as they walked up the path to the stables.

  Trevor stopped by a tree and knelt to pet Copper, who had been following them. “And you feel like being with you is what’s best for her?”

  Austin stopped in front of him. “I’m not sure…but I do know that we are both trying our best to start over. We’re taking it slow. I know there’s a lot for us to work through.”

  Trevor’s serious expression morphed into a grin. “I’m happy to hear that. Laina seems really happy lately. Whenever you’re ready to start working again, I’d be happy to hire you on here, if you’d like.”

  “Thank you. It sounds like a good opportunity. I’ll think about it.”

  Trevor patted him on the back. “Well good. We like having you here and we’ve been happy that you’ve been joining us at church, too.”