The Love Pill

by Arizona Tape

  I sighed in defeat. Against all the odds, apparently, I did. And although I had spent the evening and morning with her, I still had no clue if the feeling was mutual.

  There were indicators that she was into me, like when she would kiss me instead of me kissing her. Or when she asked me to stay the night. But on the other hand, this morning she had tried to move away in bed. I don’t think she knew I noticed, but it had been very obvious. I had quickly put on some clothes because I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable.

  It was never even my intention to shed so many clothes, but I had undressed somewhere in the middle of the night, because it had gotten too hot under the covers for me.

  But aside from these things, she did agree to come over.

  ‘I invited her to have dinner at my place.’ I softly admitted, preparing myself for his shouting. I was right.

  ‘YOU DID WHAT?’ he bellowed.

  ‘I know. Don’t judge me, Rube. I just wanted to see her again.’ I sulked, trying to convince us both. I could have asked her for a film, a dinner at a restaurant or even just a walk. But no, I had to ask if she wanted to come over.

  ‘Why would you do that? You know that’s gonna complicate a lot of things…’ Ruben stated carefully.

  ‘I know…God, this is a disaster. I don’t even know what I’m gonna cook for her.’

  ‘That’s what you are worried about? What you are gonna cook for her? If I were you, I would start worrying about hiding every bit of your work and your past life.’ Ruben huffed, looking at me in utter disbelief.

  Okay, so maybe I got my priorities a bit mixed up, but the mission was becoming less and less important. But not less stressful. I knew what was hanging above my head every moment of every day.

  ‘I know. Maybe I should talk to our boss and ask to take me off this mission. If I have to walk away without completely screwing her over, this is the moment and not in a couple of weeks.’ I admitted, thinking about how I wouldn’t be able to explain to Lexi why I couldn’t see her anymore. Now it would hurt, but it would be bearable. For her, but also for me. If I were to wait another couple of weeks, it would tear me apart.

  I could see myself love her and I knew that if I stuck around, I would. And it terrified me. I felt like running into the exact opposite direction without ever looking back to spare my heart, but another part of me wanted to run towards her and crash into her at the speed of light.

  ‘Are you mentally ill? You don’t quit. You never quit.’ Ruben looked at me as if I had gotten crazy. Maybe I had. Crazy about Lexi.

  ‘This time I might. I don’t think the information is worth it. Not for me anyway.’ I admitted, feeling selfish.

  ‘But this is what we do!’ Ruben shouted, slapping his chest. Then he pointed at me. ‘This is what you do.’

  ‘No, not this time. I’m gonna talk to the boss.’ I said, shaking my head and walking out of my office. Things had to change.

  I knocked on his door, nerves raging through my body. If I was able to end the mission today, I would have to end things with Lexi after tomorrow evening. And then somehow I would have to find a way to be okay with that.

  I wasn’t sure how I was gonna figure that out, but it seemed like a better option than breaking her and my heart in a couple of weeks.

  ‘Come in.’

  My boss looked up from his desk and smiled. He extended his arm and signalled that I could sit down. I let myself glide down in the chair and inhaled a deep breath.

  ‘I want to terminate mission 42/GLTB/3. I can extend it until Saturday evening, but there I draw the line.’ I said, officially making the request. My boss looked up from his paperwork and stared intensely at me.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I’m not going to succeed.’ I said, not completely telling the truth.

  ‘What do you mean? I heard from Grall that Zellichman confirmed her relationship status as dating. That means she is falling for the Hemlock charm.’ my boss grinned, looking satisfied at me.

  ‘The problem isn’t her. It’s me. I’m the one who is falling.’ I admitted, looking down at my feet. This was gonna change the whole story.

  ‘Oh. That changes the whole story.’ my boss said, his grin falling off his face. See, I told you.

  He leant back and rubbed his chin. ‘This complicates a couple of things. And sheds light on some too…Have you given her the love pill yet?’

  ‘No, sir. I haven’t found a good moment.’

  He nodded, lost in his own thoughts.

  ‘Cara, I want you to proceed with mission 42/GLTB/3. When we have the information, we can talk again about how and if you wanna continue your relation with Zellichman. I’m officially denying your request. I’m very sorry.’

  I bit my lip, trying to contain my emotions.

  ‘Okay, thank you.’ I sighed, not knowing what else I had expected. I stood up and started walking away, hoping to hide the expressions on my face.

  ‘Cara?’

  I turned around.

  ‘If you want, I can pull Lisa off the case.’ my boss offered, looking at me with compassion in his eyes.

  ‘Thank you, sir.’ I whispered.

  22. Soft, Fizzy Sound

  Cara Hemlock

  So I hadn’t been able to cancel my mission, but at least he was gonna remove Lisa. It was a small victory. Yay for me. Note the sarcasm.

  In the mean time, I would have to make the best of this situation.

  — Are there some things you don’t like to eat? —

  On my way to the store, I quickly sent Lexi a text. This was gonna be fun. I could cook, yes, but I wasn’t a chef. In fact, one time I had managed to set fire to my kitchen. It was just a small flame, but when you are trying to boil pasta, you don’t expect it to catch fire.

  How I managed to set fire to a pot filled with water, I am not even sure of.

  Why did I ask her over for dinner again?

  — I’m not much of a fish person, but I eat it! :) —

  Good, fish wasn’t my favourite dish either. I entered the store, took my trolley and looked helplessly around me. I pulled out my phone and started calling Ruben. After a couple of rings, he answered.

  ‘Hi, Cara.’

  ‘Hey, Rube, I need your help.’ I admitted, while looking at the vegetables and picking up a sack of onions.

  ‘Want me to show you how you eat pussy?’ Ruben crudely asked.

  ‘No, yikes. Jesus. I’m cooking for Lexi, but I have no clue. Come to the store and help me.’ I sighed, while choosing some nice green apples.

  ‘I’m working, woman.’ Ruben protested, but I knew how to get my way.

  ‘You owe me one. Now get your lazy ass out of your couch and come help me. Don’t try to deny it, I know you are just watching a movie.’ I stated, pretty sure of myself because he had just been hanging around my office all morning.

  ‘I’m not exactly watching a movie.’

  Maybe I was wrong.

  ‘Unless you wanna call porn a movie.’ he grinned, making me roll my eyes.

  ‘Yes, that’s a movie, now meet me in the store.’

  ‘So, the next time you wanna watch a movie I can bring porn?’ he happily asked and I knew he had a big smile on his face.

  ‘No. I’m at the store on the corner of my street.’ I said and hung up. He was such a piece of work sometimes…But despite him being an ass, he was my best friend.

  A while later Ruben was pushing my cart, grabbing stuff from the shelves. I stared at the content in my trolley. Chicken breasts, garlic, some herbs, an onion, coconut milk, a lemon, rice, carrots and some bell peppers.

  ‘What am I making?’ I inquired, looking at the ingredients. Ruben looked amused and smiled.

  ‘A chicken curry with rice. It’s fabulous! And it is a definite panty dropper, trust me.’ he added with a wink.

  I nodded, ignoring his last comment. I liked chicken and curries so, what could go wrong? We quickly picked up some other additional stuff, paid for my groceries and then left the sto
re.

  ‘I’ll help you make it and then you can blow her socks off! Maybe even more than her socks.’ Ruben grinned with his signature perverted look on his face. I slapped his arm and we started walking towards my car.

  After about two hours of chopping vegetables and cooking the curry, everything was good to go. I only needed to cook the rice, but I would do that when Lexi arrived. I just hoped I wouldn’t burn anything down. I took a big whiff and then put a lid on the pot. It smelled delicious and I very well knew that without Ruben I wouldn’t have been able to pull this off. I kissed him gratefully on the cheek.

  ‘Thank you, Rube. It’s almost time and I still need to shower. I don’t want to be impolite, but you better go.’ I apologetically said, quickly tidying up my kitchen.

  ‘If you want I could wash your back. That could save you some time.’ he laughed, trying to slap my ass. I swiftly jumped out off the way and ran towards my bathroom.

  ‘No thanks. Now you can show yourself out, I’m not opening the door for you anymore.’ I said, trying to make it sound like a punishment.

  ‘Sure thing. You can think about Lexi during your shower.’ Ruben smirked and made an obscene movement with his hips. I shook my head in disgust and pointed at my front door. He sighed and started walking in the direction I was pointing.

  ‘Okay, okay. No need to get mad.’ He muttered, pretending I hurt his feelings.

  ‘Thank you, Rube. I mean it.’

  ‘You’re welcome. Have fun tonight.’

  I smiled and as soon as Ruben closed the front door, I stripped and jumped in my shower. Why did he have to bring up thinking about Lexi in my shower…

  After the shower, I put on some fresh clothes. I had thrown on a cute skirt and a classy blouse. I was just putting on some makeup when my doorbell rang. I nervously dropped my lipstick, making a red smudge in my sink. Whoops. Oh well, I would clean that up later.

  It had been a while since I had visitors in my home. Well, not like Ruben or family, but like a date. I quickly checked myself in the mirror before running towards the door. I took in a deep breath and turned the doorknob.

  ‘Hi, come in.’ I greeted, letting my eyes travel over her entire figure. Damn. How the hell was I supposed to keep my hands off her when she looked like that? She kissed me on my cheek and brought her lips closer to my ear.

  ‘You like what you see?’ she whispered, making a chill run down my spine.

  I wordlessly nodded, trying my hardest not to look down at her cleavage or let my hands run over her back.

  ‘You look very stunning yourself.’ she concluded before pulling back and taking her shoes and coat off.

  ‘I’ll take your coat. The living room is just right through.’ I politely said, taking her jacket and discreetly looking at her ass when she walked into my house. I placed her coat over a hanger and hung it up. Shame she took her heels off, they made her legs so unbelievably long. Although without they were still extremely sexy.

  Lexi had made herself comfortable on my couch and for some reason, she just fit right in.

  ‘Can I offer you a drink?’

  ‘Yes, please.’

  ‘I have a nice red wine?’

  ‘I like red wine.’

  ‘I know.’

  I went into my kitchen and opened one of the bottles of wine I bought earlier on. I started pouring when my phone started ringing. I looked at the screen and noticed it was my boss. I took a quick look at Lexi, who was reading the newspaper of the day.

  ‘Sweetie, I’m quickly gonna take this call, am sorry.’ I shouted, catching her attention. She put her thumb up and waved with the newspaper.

  ‘Can I complete the crossword puzzle?’ she mouthed, her eyebrow pulled up in a questioning look.

  ‘Sure thing. Go ahead!’

  Lexi nodded and picked up the pen that was laying next to the paper. I had been filling it in, but I hadn’t found the time to finish it. I shook my head in amusement and picked up the phone, wondering why he was calling.

  ‘Cara, good evening. I hope I am not disturbing you?’

  ‘Not really, but Lexi is with me though.’ I answered, fixating my eyes on her. She was hastily writing letters down.

  ‘Good. I think it’s time to give her the love pill. I know it’s not an easy decision, that’s why I’m making it for you.’ my boss said, with a tone that made it very clear that he meant it.

  ‘Sir, with all due respect, but I think she might be falling for me without it.’ I tried, but I knew that he was right.

  ‘Hemlock. Your job is to get the information, if you think that making her fall is the way to do it, go for it. But that means that it must happen as fast as possible and that’s where the love pill comes in. I won’t take no for an answer.’

  I knew he was right and I wish I could refuse, but I was under contract and this was just something I had to do.

  ‘Yes, sir. I’ll give it tonight.’ I gave in, hanging up and dying inside. I looked at Lexi and sighed. She didn’t deserve this. I wanted to make her happy and give her everything that her heart desired, but I was going to be the one who’d crushed it.

  A broken heart and shattered trust. Lovely.

  I put the phone down and felt my heart sink. I felt so nauseated that I almost had to throw up. After this mission, I was quitting my job. No way that I kept doing this after breaking Lexi’s heart. It was a miserable and lousy job. It had to be done, surely, but not by me anymore.

  I took the tiny box from my briefcase and opened it up, my hands trembling when I took the love pill out. I nervously swallowed and carefully opened it. Inside was a white, powdery substance. I closed my eyes and tilted the capsule over with one swift motion. I heard the powder fall down and it made a soft, fizzy sound.

  I picked up the glasses, remembering I had to give Lexi the glass in my left hand, and walked back into the living room. I extended my left hand and gave her the glass, although every fibre of my being was screaming not to.

  I sat down next to her and raised my glass for a celebratory clink, but there was nothing festive about this night. She barely made our glasses touch while she looked me straight in the eye. I managed to smile and my eyes followed her glass that travelled to her lips and the wine that flowed into her mouth.

  She swallowed her sip, making my betrayal a fact.

  23. Crossword

  Lexi Zellichman

  Bird product. That’s an egg. A river in Brazil? No clue, who would know that…

  ‘Acari.’ Cara said, pointing at the empty slots where they were looking for the river in Brazil.

  ‘Sorry?’ I said, looking confused at Cara. Like I said, who would know that?

  ‘Acari. The river in Brazil. A. C. A . R. I.’ she spelt, like it was common knowledge. I raised one eyebrow and threw her a confused look.

  ‘I just know a lot of stupid facts.’ she confessed, like it was a bad thing.

  I grinned and stared at the next puzzle. Just sitting together and making the crossword puzzle was strangely satisfying.

  ‘I’m gonna put on the rice, we can eat in about 15 minutes. If that’s okay with you?’ she asked, looking nervously around.

  I smiled and nodded.

  ‘Yes, sounds good, thanks.’ I said, still trying to project my image of a confident and strong girl. I didn’t want Cara to know about my insecurities and how much I liked her, probably way more than she liked me. But I would get her there, if I just played my cards right. Like wearing this blouse again.

  I had noticed how Cara’s eyes tried to peer through the fabric. It had given me the extra confidence boost to whisper seductively in her ear and do the ‘sexy thing’.

  Or at least it gave me enough confidence to try.

  She came back out of the kitchen and sat down next to me, her arm casually slung over my shoulder. She mindlessly let her fingers walk over my upper arm, making a comfortable warmth slowly spread to the rest of my body.

  ‘City in Germany, six letters, the third is an R, the fifth
an I.’ I asked, looking back at the newspaper.

  ‘Berlin.’ she promptly answered, not missing a heartbeat. I filled in the blank spots, trying to conceal my surprise. Instead, I nodded along, like of course, I had known the answer myself too.

  I hadn’t.

  ‘Sixth sense, abbreviation. Three letters, first one an E. ‘I continued, picking a difficult one.

  ‘ESP.’ she immediately said, again without effort. I was fairly intelligent and I knew that she was smart, but I didn’t expect her to have such a broad knowledge. Maybe just coincidence. Let’s try another.