Missing Pieces

by Ivy Smoak

  My new address is on the back of this letter. Write to me if that's what your heart truly wants. I promise I'll always write back. I promise that you can always count on me. No matter how many miles apart we are, you're not alone. Ever.

  I know you're probably fuming right now because I didn't stay to say goodbye. But I didn't stay because this isn't goodbye. It's only just the beginning. If you'll have me. I'm going to come home. And I mean to Indiana, not New York. You're home to me, Hails.

  Love,

  Tyler

  P.S. When you board the plane check the front pocket of your duffel bag.

  He didn't know me as well as he thought. I wasn't mad. I was bawling my eyes out like a baby. Being with him wasn't a sacrifice. It wasn't rash. It was just how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to meet. I knew that. He needed to know that too.

  I grabbed my phone to call him. But I realized that I never even got his number. The thought just made me cry even more.

  When I finally composed myself, I took a deep breath. He wanted letters. I could respect that. He'd be adjusting to his new life. Hopefully he'd change his mind soon. I wanted to be able to hear his voice. I thought maybe we could even Skype so I could see his face.

  I wiped away the remaining tears in my eyes. I'd write to him right away. He'd probably get it tomorrow if I mailed it before I got on the plane. I didn't need to wait to think about anything. I loved him. That was all that mattered.

  ***

  As soon as I stepped onto the plane, I opened up the front pouch of my duffel bag. It was another envelope with my name on it. I found my seat and shoved my bag in the overhead compartment. I was already tearing open the envelope before my butt hit the seat. There was another letter inside.

  Hails,

  This is every cent I have to my name. I know you said you didn't want it, but I'm giving it to you anyway. You faced your fears of visiting your mom. You didn't let pride get in the way of what truly matters. So don't let it get in the way now either. Maybe I was the answer the whole time. I think we were meant to find each other.

  You don't get to say goodbye to me, and you don't have to say goodbye to your dad either. No goodbyes. Do whatever it takes. And stay strong. I can't wait to meet him.

  Love,

  Tyler

  I looked back in the envelope. There were two credit cards with Tyler's name on them. And there was also a check for $24,000.

  I closed the envelope and held it to my chest. Tyler was the answer to my prayers. He was the miracle I had been looking for. I was going to be able to save my dad.

  Chapter 48

  Tyler

  Friday

  I watched the sun set, casting yellow, orange, and purple shadows across the water and turning the sky into a masterpiece. This was it. My last few minutes of freedom. I took a deep breath.

  All I wanted to do was hear Hailey's voice. I had purposely not left her my phone number. It was better that way. Because I was scared. I didn't want her to be able to hear it in my voice because I didn't want her to worry about me. She had enough on her plate. If she could be strong, so could I. Letters would be better. At least at first, until I settled in.

  But for some reason, I found myself pulling out my phone anyway. I stopped when I found the picture of Hailey and me in front of the end of Route 66 sign. She had already told me she wanted to be with me. But I hoped she was really thinking about what that would mean. Three years apart was a long time. I wanted her to be happy. As happy as she was in this picture. I smiled down at her smile. The sun was setting behind us, creating almost a halo around her face. No matter what happened, I'd always have this summer. I'd always have the memories of her. That could be enough if I knew she was happy.

  Like with Penny. The thought of her crashed through my mind like an unwelcomed guest. If I really was going to treat this as a new beginning, I needed to make sure everything was wrapped up in my past. I needed to know that the dust had settled. Because even though I didn't love Penny, she was still my friend. And I'd always care about her. But it was time to put thoughts about her to rest once and for all. It was time to say goodbye.

  I found Penny's name in my contacts list, clicked on it, and stared back out at the water. I was a little surprised to hear her answer immediately. It was pretty late on the east coast.

  "Hey, Tyler."

  "Hey. I heard he woke up."

  "Yeah."

  It was strange. Her voice used to make me smile. Now it just made me miss Hails even more. I tried to clear my thoughts. "How is he doing?" I asked.

  "Good. He's a lot better today than he was yesterday. And I think they're going to discharge him for his birthday."

  "And how are you holding up?" Be good. Let me be able to let go.

  "Better now that he's awake."

  I let a breath I didn't realize I was holding escape. She's good. "The cops stopped calling me. I saw what happened on the news. How Isabella broke into your house. Are you okay?"

  "I'm good. And yeah, they arrested her. They shouldn't be bothering you anymore."

  "Thanks, Penny."

  "How are you?"

  "Better. Actually, I met someone." I wasn't sure why I said that. Penny didn't need to know about my life anymore. But maybe a part of me didn't want her to be thinking about me anymore either. We were better off without each other in our lives. I could feel the distance between us, and it was actually comforting.

  "Really?"

  I laughed. "Don't sound so surprised."

  "I'm not. Any girl would be lucky to be with you." She sounded sincere but there was something sad in her voice.

  This wasn't the time to throw my happiness in her face. Her husband was lying in a hospital bed. She was probably staring at him as we spoke. "Oh, no, we're not dating or anything. She actually just needed a ride to the west coast. We're just friends." I was pretty sure my lie wasn't convincing at all. Because just thinking about Hailey made me smile. Besides, Penny and I were too good of friends. She could tell when I wasn't telling the truth.

  "What's her name?"

  Yup, she didn't believe me. "Hailey."

  "So you're on a road trip with a relative stranger. Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

  I laughed again. Not anymore. "No, just learning how to live again."

  "You're having fun then?" She sounded hopeful.

  "Yeah. I'm having lots of fun." There was no reason to tell her what I was about to do. There was really no reason why she would care anyway.

  "Good," Penny said.

  "This was exactly what I needed." Hailey was exactly what I needed. I closed my eyes and pictured Hailey. Hailey was right. The best things in life weren't seen, they were felt by the heart. And if I really concentrated, it almost felt like she was beside me.

  "Hailey or the trip?"

  I smiled to myself. "Both, maybe. I should go, Penny." My time was running out.

  "When do you think you're coming back?"

  "I don't know. I'll stay in touch, though. Tell James I said I hope he makes a speedy recovery."

  "I will. And don't pick up any scary hitchhikers."

  "I think I'm good with just the one." Hailey was all I ever needed. "Bye, Penny."

  "Bye."

  I hung up the phone and opened my eyes. I wasn't going to stay in touch. And I was never going back to New York. It was time to start over. The marines. Hailey. This was my life now. Sometimes it's best to keep the past in the past.

  I glanced once more at the waves crashing against the rocks. I had this peaceful feeling that wherever Hailey was right now, she was thinking about me too. I didn't need to wait for a letter from her. She was the air I needed to breathe. And for some crazy reason, I was that for her too. We were going to figure this out together.

  Chapter 49

  Hailey

  Friday

  Even though it felt like I left a part of myself in California, it was good to almost be home. Just seeing normal trees again from the plane window in
stead of palm trees was relaxing.

  I squeezed my eyes shut as the plane touched down. Flying had been a relatively terrifying experience. But takeoff and landing were definitely now my two least favorite things in the world. For some reason I just feared that we had been lucky the whole flight and the plane would just explode as soon as it all came back in contact with the ground. I exhaled when the plane slowed. Disaster averted. Everything was going to be okay. For the first time in a long time, it really felt that way.

  For a moment I let myself think about what Tyler was doing. I had seen a few movies about people joining the army. He was probably standing in a line right now getting yelled at by his commanding officer or something. I just hoped he was okay. I hoped he knew that he could count on me too. I pulled the picture of us out of my pocket. Before I turned it over, I noticed something written on the back. I smiled at the words. "We ain't ever getting older," I whispered to myself as I ran my fingers across the inscription. To me it meant that we could stop time. That in three years we'd still be the same. That we could really make this work.

  The pilot came on and said it would be a minute before we pulled up to a terminal. I smiled and slid the picture back into my pocket. I needed to schedule an Uber to pick me up. I hit the button to turn my phone back on. I couldn't wait to see my dad and tell him the good news. He'd be thrilled about me being home. But the money? He'd be ecstatic. I couldn't wait to tell him about the Grand Canyon and the Pacific Ocean. And one day he'd be able to see those things now. Thanks to Tyler.

  As soon as my phone turned on, it started buzzing. I had dozens of missed calls, voicemails, and texts. At first I thought Tyler had changed his mind and decided he wanted to hear my voice. But then I saw that everything was from Anna, the assistant manager from my dad's bar.

  I could almost hear my heart thumping as I hit play on one of the voicemails and pulled the phone to my ear.

  "Hails, it's Anna. Where are you, hon? I really need to speak to you. No one knows where you are. Please call me back as soon as you get this. It's urgent." The voicemail clicked off.

  I wanted this to be about her raise. But I knew it wasn't. Anna wouldn't call me about that. She would have just talked to my dad. Something must have happened to him. I clicked on another of the voicemails.

  "Hon, you need to come home. I was trying not to startle you in my other messages, but your father has taken a turn for the worse. It's not looking...good. He's asking for you. Please call me back."

  I pressed on her name in my phone but there wasn't any service in the plane. Damn it.

  I pressed on another voicemail. "Hon, your father..." Anna tried to stifle a sob. "You need to come home as soon as you get this message. Where are you?" The voicemail clicked off.

  My father what? My father what?! I wrapped my arms around myself. Please don't let me be too late. He was supposed to have four months. It had only been a week. I was only gone for a week! But it didn't matter what I told myself. The guilt was already swallowing me whole.

  As soon as the plane pulled into the terminal I pushed my way past the other passengers. I clicked on Anna's name.

  "Oh, Hailey, thank heavens!"

  "Anna what happened? How is he?"

  "We're at the hospital." There was a long pause. "He's not good, hon."

  "But he's awake? He's alive?" I started running through the airport.

  "He's been holding on, waiting for you."

  Waiting for me for what? This wasn't the end. He had four months. "I'm going to be right there, okay? I'm coming now." I didn't have time to wait for my Uber. I waved down a taxi instead. "Tell him I'm coming. Tell him I got the money."

  "Hails it's too..."

  "Just tell him, okay?" I hung up the phone as I climbed in the cab. I couldn't hear the rest of what she was going to say. Because I already knew what it was. I was too late.

  ***

  I threw some cash at the cab driver and ran into the hospital. "I'm looking for Jeffrey Shaw," I said to the receptionist.

  Her eyebrows lowered slightly. Sympathy. I was so fucking tired of getting people's sympathy. The whole car ride over here I thought about the extra time I spent in California with Tyler. I should have just come home. He was right. God, please don't let me be too late.

  "He's in room 237."

  "Thank you." I took the stairs two at a time. I didn't even need to find the room. I saw the employees from the bar and friends from town all clustered together at the end of the hall.

  I ran over to Anna and shoved the envelope that contained the check and credit cards into her hands.

  "Hailey..." There was the sympathy again. All over Anna's face.

  "Please just find the doctor and give that to him."

  "Hailey..." but I was already pushing the door open to my dad's room.

  She caught my arm before I could enter. I never would have guessed how strong Anna was.

  "Hailey you need to be prepared for what you're walking into."

  "I got the money. He's going to be fine."

  "Hon, he's not going to be fine." She grabbed my shoulders so that I would face her. Her eyes were filled with tears. "He's dying. You're lucky he held on this long. He doesn't have much time left."

  "He has at least four months."

  Anna shook her head.

  I didn't have time to listen to Anna fill me on what I had missed. I knew what I had missed. I had missed my last few days with my dad. I shook away from her grip. No. No, he was going to be okay.

  I turned away from her and pushed through the door. But I immediately froze when I saw him. He looked ten years older. He looked...he looked like he was dying. I bit the inside of my lip, trying to hold back the tears. I needed to be strong for him. "Dad?" I whispered. It looked like he was sleeping.

  He coughed into his hand, which had tubes sticking out of it. "Honey?" He coughed again and slowly opened his eyes.

  "Hi, Daddy." I peeled myself from the wall and walked over to him. I grabbed his hand as I sat down next to his hospital bed. His hand felt so cold in mine. Dad.

  "I missed you, honey." His voice sounded hoarse and his eyelids looked heavy.

  I squeezed his hand. "I missed you too."

  "Did you see her?"

  I nodded my head.

  "Promise me you didn't listen to anything she said."

  I blinked faster so the tears wouldn't start. "No, of course not."

  "Hails, look at me."

  I blinked away my tears as he touched the bottom of my chin.

  "Hails, you are not your mother. There's goodness in your heart." He coughed again. This time there was blood on his hand.

  "I should get a doctor."

  "No, wait." He coughed again. "I talked to a financial advisor. You need to sell the house. And the bar. I had a life insurance policy in case anything happened to me when you were a kid. It's still good. It should be enough to settle all my debts. Enough to give you a fresh start."

  I shook my head. "Dad, I got the money for the treatments. You're going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay."

  "It's too late, Hails.

  "It's not too late. You can fight this."

  "I don't have any fight left in me."

  Please don't give up. "Of course you do. You're the strongest person I know."

  He smiled. It looked like it pained him to do it. "Go live your life, Hails. You're bigger than this town. Go make me proud."

  "Dad, this town is my life. You're my life. I love it here. This was always enough for me."

  He smiled. "You were always enough for me. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. The greatest blessing that this life ever gave me. That's why you need to keep your heart open, Hails. Don't go your whole life being scared to let people in. You need to know that I never regretted what happened with your mother. Because she gave me you."

  The tears streamed down my cheeks. It was such a contrast to the things Elena had said. My dad had always made me feel like I was a gift. That I was
special. That I was loved. Why had I ever felt like I was missing something? I didn't need a mother. Because I had the best dad a girl could ask for.

  "For me, the sun rose and set with your smile. Don't ever stop smiling. Don't ever change, Hails. I love you so much, honey." He touched the bottom of my chin again.

  "I love you too. Dad, we can fight this together."

  He coughed again. More blood came out on his hand.

  "I'm going to go get a doctor." I ran over to the door as the machine he was attached to started to beep.

  A doctor was already standing by the door talking to Anna.

  "He's coughing up blood and the machine started beeping..."

  The doctor rushed into the room.

  Anna gently touched my arm. "Is he..." her voice trailed off as she stared at me.

  "No, of course not. He's going to be fine." I shook her hand off me and followed the doctor back into my dad's room.

  But the doctor wasn't doing anything. He was just writing something in his notebook. The machines had stopped. Everything was eerily quiet.

  "Is he okay?"

  He turned toward me. His facial expression matched Anna's from earlier. Matched the receptionist. Matched the cab driver's when he saw me bawling in the back seat of his car.

  Fuck all of them. "Why aren't you doing anything?"

  "I'm so sorry, you must be his daughter. I'm doctor Klein. We didn't realize how fast the cancer was spreading. We did everything we could."

  I shook my head. "What? No. I got the money for the treatments."

  "I'm so very sorry." He pulled the envelope I had given Anna out of his coat pocket and handed it back to me.

  I tried to push it back at him. "Use it to save him."

  "I'm sorry, Miss Shaw. He's gone."

  What was he talking about? Tears were streaming down my face. "He's right there. Why aren't you doing anything?!" I could hear the hysteria in my voice, but I didn't care.